Enticement on shiny Tips

alone  
kneeling in my sanctum sanctorum
I hear you again
I was cold, shivering
and you said
I know...it scares me to scare ...upset You
I just knew there was no going back from that
 
bright light from the tip of the knife
sharp points winking  
seductive in it's smooth lines
thoughts played within my thoughts
a small neat cut
on the wrists  
a bottle of sandman's candy
would be just right
 
the darkness went beyond you
the screaming anxiety existed  
long before your light  
lit my senses
 
I didn't know where it came from
or why or if it's just me
or an evil essence around me
as a guiding spirit
 
but it's real  
clawing at my senses
pushing me to run out
screaming
naked into highlighted stages  
or cut little exes on my flesh
 
"I won't lie...I'm scared"
you cut into the thickness of my thoughts
the sludgy treacle-y self pity
and the demons within quieted their snarl
 
your pain
and mine
coalesced
in tears  
we grieved
 
the shiny Tips will have to wait