Not my own

Sometimes I just want to lose control. Just let go. Giving in to my inner demons. Do whatever you want, need or feel. No restrictions, no boundaries no consequences. Wouldnít that be nice Wouldnít that be liberating? It would, but it would be dangerous, it would be deadly. Atleast for me. I donít expect anyone to understand where Iím going with this. But believe me when I tell you guys that even my own desires are twisted and distorted. Can they even be called desires? I donít know. But they are not my own, they are not mine. I canít trust them. I canít trust me. My thoughts have been invaded, manipulated they are contaminated. What happens when you are not even you anymore? Are these even my own words? Iím confused, nervous, scared.what am I?
Written by Vortex32167 (Stephan van Pinksteren)
Author's Note
A diary entry from a couple of days ago. I had to put it on DU.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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mysteriouslady Bluevelvete
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