The Fall

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How you mean?

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I said I liked Autumn. I don’t know what you’re getting at. There’s no ambivalence here. It’s an affirmation of the season, sir!! Leaves are a big part of what it’s all about. Ain’t they?? Ain’t they?!?

Why you delete these comments tho??

If you care for my opinion:  i do not like the word SHIT in your description.  There are more colorful ways to describe the wonders of Fall.  Shit makes your poem sound like garbage.  Sorry.  Even ''leaves and stuff'' might be a plus.

I do appreciate the insight, sir. And yah might be on to something. Maybe shit is too strong a word for a poem about fall. “Leaves and stuff”. Hmmm… interesting angle.

Any ideas on what I could do here?
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/390837-fist-fucking-a-parakeet/

If you can't write a couple of lines (and a few more) about the wonders of Fall and its amazing colors, I can't help you.

I see what you saying about it being kinda short. How this?

Autumn is pretty neat
The leaves that were once green
Ain’t green anymore
They change color
That’s how you know they’s bout to drop
Drop like a fine ass bitch in a discotheque
Droppin that sweet, sweaty ass down low
As I smack each cheek
In perfect rhythm with the Ying Yang twins
I contemplate the glorious red hues
Of them Autumn leaves
Jangling off each frosty ass branch
Of some geriatric tree
In my neighborhood
I wanna get that girl as naked
As that sorry little tree
That lost all his red damn leaves
That’s why it’s called Fall

A different style, for sure .  Not bad at all.  But certainly not for the  ''general population''.  The language is yours of course, reflects your tone of voice and they way you speak., So that is also ok, but it sounds to me like that of a sort of rapper, not, say, the language of TV or radio  announcer or a school tacher....know what I mean?   It depends on what you want to develop and where you want to go with your poetry.

I want to be invited to the White House one day, as a special guest to the president. Other poets been there. I figure I should be invited there too! That’s a big goal of mine!!

Perhaps you might like to take a look at   Poet Laureate of the US on the internet.  It is a bit like winning the lottery.

I would direct you towards my poem on this very subject here:

https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/408590-jermaine-should-be-a-household-name/

I read.  I see that you are a rather  frustrated  person.  I read a few more of your efforts,  full of ''shit'  and ''fuck'' etc. I suppose you have read a number of works by different poets on this site.   Excellent stuff. Plus, if you have not read a number of poems from the great departed ones, you should start.  PS:  just for fun, see if you can get an anthology of  some of your poems printed....

Fuck yeah! I should get an anthology going. That shit would be glorious. Folks need to recognize greatness when they sees it- and an anthology might just seal the deal!

Great departed ones? Like Tupac or is you taking about Walter Shakespeare? I get down with some Hamlet, I ain’t gonna lie