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aubrey plaza was really hot in “The Happiest Season”

and that makes me so sad. because that film  
destroyed me in a way i will never recover from.  
something died in me the third act of that film.  
the first act was so good! everyone was so hot!! I thought
I knew what was going to happen and I was looking forward it and aubrey
plaza was gonna be Kstews christmas miracle and goddamnit you know I love  
a fucking christmas miracle  
but cLeA dU vAlL just had
to do a queer subversion where the lesbians  
die at the end. (so much for “sub” in "subversion"). my scarce  
dreams were fucking crushed i thought
“well maybe we could just watch the first half” but that’s not
how christmas movies work, is it,
because the first two acts of the film are just
the main character in abject misery
so if you skip the end theres no pay off but if  
you watch to the end you wish you just stopped
stopped stopped.
ascarborough
Written by ascarborough
Published | Edited 20th Nov 2021
Author's Note
This poem was an exercise where i tried to syntactically mimic my own speech in casual conversation - this was a transcription of dumb little movie review I gave my friend
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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