Oh, me?

Oh, me?
I'm just sad,
Just mad,
And to be honest, weirdly glad?  
 
Life isn't what it seems,
To be frank, it's pretty mean.
It's oddly out of place,
But to be real, it keeps a happy face.  
 
Surprises, one after another.
Unexpected, but oh brother.  
A bunch of feelings, deeply felt
And dude, I need fuckin help.  
 
This thing, I'm not used to feeling,
But somehow I'm still breathing.
Protective over my feelings at best,
But still hurting, nonetheless.  
 
My god, what the fuck?
How the fuck?
Who the fuck?
Absolutely why the actual fuck?  
 
Many things I'd like to ask
But my ass just might be grass
Life and it's dumb shit
My dude, what the fuck is it?  
 
Dumbassery at best
And blegh says the rest
Dear dude or whomst the fuck ever
What the fuck bro  
Actually no rhyme here, what the actual fuck yo  
 
I guess the dumb shit I went through
Lead me here to find you
Some weird ass saving grace
Brought me to your face  
 
And some weird shit later,
It was no longer see ya later alligator
I just showed up and never left
Got comfortable, and wanted to be the best.  
 
Goddamn dude,
I want to be the best for you.
I'd do anything that you want me to  
 
But my brain is pretty wack
And I'm sure it smoked some crack
And to be honest, the drugs never helped
Only pushed me further to hell  
 
And frankly I'm over this place
But I always wanna see your face
It brings a bit of stability in my life
When I thought I'd be down to die  
 
You give me this weird feeling
In a great way reminds me I'm still breathing
It's terrible and great at the same time
But fucking aye, I still wanna fucking die  
 
Feelings are very severe
And definitely not what it seems
But my guy, fuckin aye
This shit gives me a headache  
 
Why it gotta be so deep
My feelings are so fucking weak
And my dude, I am doin the best
So I don't end up just like the rest  
 
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck