The 11th Hour

It's harassing to me when I think about the what
 The what it was I ought not sought surpassing what I got
 The who's when's where's and why KnoT's
 Are trespassing on my thoughts lackadaisically responding to this morbid ambiance left me selflessly defenseless yet relentlessly I fought
 but double crossed I pay the cost captured by the mind I'm lost and
 caught up in this plot
 This SOS'ing can be so distressing Inwardly I keep pressing awkwardly as I outwardly lose my direction
 Nutritiously deliciously restricting like a boa constricting
 To a foe from a friend on a whim contradicting
 Conflictions of afflictions non-fictiously fictitious
 My thoughts auspiciously maliciously are whimsically suspicious
 My issues must be homeless they always go unaddressed
 Excessively oppressed I suppress what I ingest as I detest what I invest
 Pleasures of the flesh I can't refresh I'm not impressed
 Is this addiction my addition or am I mentally obsessed
 Inaction from subtracting displaced emotions held so long now are clinically compressed
 It's heavy on the heart you need to get it off the chest
 How can a man be both so blessed yet still feel so damn depressed
 So inevitably incredible credibly inedible
 I can't rewind nor redefine the undefined behind this line
 This space I am confined clandestine to the mind
 Blind and in a bind I can't unwind what's been designed
 I can't resign what I've refined I'm not inclined
 Hanging on the wall the clock it hangs there like a sign
 In silence the hands strike swiftly with violence so divinely and unkind
 In nary a single second sooner until the hands have reached high time
 Make a toast take a sip from the wrist to the pit
 Two vertical slits going down with the ship drip drip
 Ripped from my grip-flipped from the slip-zipped
 at that lip-whipped from this trip-bloody-spit-double-dipped-in-s***-I-sit
 With broken wing tips clipped nip snip
 As this 11th hour passes not a light house in sight but
 The dope house and jail house the lights are burning bright
 Well that Some day finally got here that Some day is tonight and
 With it comes a bone chilling cold that carries frightening bite
 All the colors fade away the remnants left are black and white
 Two wrongs for too long never once made it right
 Abandoned by my soul it's a feeling so contrite
 What is left it takes away my breath to see that my death will come in spite
 Here's the place have you seen it It's the cussedest damn place that I know
 It's so wretched and filthy you can't mean it like a moth to the flames I still go
 It's the place where faces are nameless and the people all run God knows where
 There are lives that are erring and aimless and death's that just hang there by a hair
 It's a wildness that never knows harness always chaotic and it never gets still
 Away from it I tried to get to a farness so that I'd never go back but I will
 Some say it's a grave here and they laid it the darkest place under the sun
 Some say it's a debt and they paid it good intentions paved the way here by the ton
 Some say the devil he made it Some say the devil he ain't done
 Some say he craves to enslave us to take all that we have til there is none
 Some say there's a way out and they pray for it Some say what they did can't be undone
 Some say it's a game and they played it some say it's a game that no one's won
 Some say they stray till they fade it some say it's a fine place to shun
 Maybe but there's some who would trade it
 Trade it all to just lose everything and I am one