Forgive Me

I wanted to live surrounded by trees,
So much green in the atmosphere,
Breathing in the dazzling breeze,
And sleeping for a lifetime of peace.

For once, that kind of life was so simple;
My dreams once traveled through ripples.
I opened my eyes and looked out the window—
Kids jumping in a pile, casting off sorrow.

Somehow, I blame my feelings on anything;
Maybe the weather isn’t to my liking.
Yet somehow, I feel the need to run and stop,
But a month of rest is no longer enough.

And they all want me to believe in holding my thunder,
Wanting me to shine through any kind of rumble.
But I don’t know what I should believe,
When these swirling consternations intend to deceive.

Growing older in this world is so tough;
I can’t deal with myself and others just half.
I can’t avoid feeling the pain and stop my tears,
And drink only iced tea when I want more beers.

I want to go back to those times outside,
Where I could see all the colors so bright.
When monsters haunted me, but I had so much fun—
O God, forgive me; I didn’t know what I’d become.