deepundergroundpoetry.com
Nautical Roses
The intrepid, the resilient -
the visionaries, the seers
all called
Into the distant
latitudes of the horizon, where others
Fear
to
tread
Already dead -
dead already,
With only the capacity
to curse that which lies beyond them
and their ability
to
Understand or dream
Such a mortal immoral human thing,
because they don’t act
out
of
Purity,
Purely, they are unclean
&
mean
Nothing, absolutely nothing
as they become
an unseen,
Cycling of recycling
in
esotericism of being
To see – To see
The force
that leaves them divorced
in
The
Law
of
Three.
Published 5th Nov 2021
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likes 4
reading list entries 3
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th Nov 2021 11:00am
"Purely, they are unclean
&
mean
Nothing, absolutely nothing
as they become
an unseen,"
That is an excellent example of enjambment!
"With only the capacity
to curse that which lies beyond them
and their ability
to
Understand or dream"
Meanwhile, because of your liberal use of spacings, there are pauses manifesting, disrupting the overall flow of the poem. Not just in this poem, but many others of yours.
Yes, it's your personal style. No, it's not working to your advantage in every situation. I'm probably one of the few people at DUP bringing this to your attention, but I do so because you are an amazing writer.
&
mean
Nothing, absolutely nothing
as they become
an unseen,"
That is an excellent example of enjambment!
"With only the capacity
to curse that which lies beyond them
and their ability
to
Understand or dream"
Meanwhile, because of your liberal use of spacings, there are pauses manifesting, disrupting the overall flow of the poem. Not just in this poem, but many others of yours.
Yes, it's your personal style. No, it's not working to your advantage in every situation. I'm probably one of the few people at DUP bringing this to your attention, but I do so because you are an amazing writer.
5th Nov 2021 2:53pm
you know it's funny dearest Cipher you see so much into the spirit realm
I'm working on a gypsy fortune teller painting right now gazing into the unseen
I know I'm unclean I do my best though....this write amazed me as I feel we are somehow connected
possibly just by the site possibly more...
great write...
I'm working on a gypsy fortune teller painting right now gazing into the unseen
I know I'm unclean I do my best though....this write amazed me as I feel we are somehow connected
possibly just by the site possibly more...
great write...
Anonymous
- Edited 6th Nov 2021 6:05am
6th Nov 2021 6:04am
I like how you juxtapositioned your words. I will be honest I may not get the true meaning of the poem but the subtle rhyming of words and the clever play on words, I enjoyed:)
