Post Lockdown Blues

His tall muscular but lean frame and his overly tanned skin drew me in as I caught his almond shaped eyes running themselves up & down my frame, from my fully zipped at the centre avant-gard navy blue leather boots, up to my long legs that were wrapped in opaque hosiery, to the smile that eventually greeted him upon my face.    
   
Noting, his partial tribal sleeve tattoo down one side of his arm, and his faded blue jeans as he moved from the entrance door of the cafe where he lingered a moment before I entered, and I couldn’t help but notice he was trailing me to the front of the cafe, and stood close by whilst listening to me order my coffee.    
   
When I caught him scrolling past the sway of my womanly hourglass frame with hips that never lie, I couldn’t contain my smile as I hid behind my sunglasses, and for a moment I wondered why he was so blatantly checking me out.    
   
Albeit, a smidgen nervously before he too pulled his shades down, to cover his eyes.    
   
All I kept thinking about was I’m way too old to date, and let’s just fuck & discuss the semantics of a dialogue after, or during, or perhaps maybe not at all because we’re both grown adults, with primal instincts that revolve around such needs & wants, to relieve the stress & tension that comes with living in a fucked up world like it is now.    
   
Evidently, his rough around the edges were glaringly obvious like neon lights flashing before my eyes, and even more so beckoning as I studied the stunning prominent jawline that framed his gorgeous unshaven face for a brief moment, before he noticed me checking him out too.    
   
It’s what single people do, and I’m sure I’m not the only single woman with such thoughts.    
   
He looked a smidgen cultured, perhaps of Italian or some other mediterranean descent, or perhaps he was just a mixture of sun-kissed from playing in the sun & surf which enabled him to be blessed with a permanent shade of heavenly tanned like olive complexion.    
   
As I sat close to the barista on a leather chair, he remained loitering close by and I caught him spying my slightly opened & inviting legs as one was firmly planted on the ground, and the other resting on a steel bar elevated from the ground, and in that moment I wondered what he’d feel like wrapped within the softness of my firm thighs, whilst pressing his rock hard perversions right into me.    
   
I busted him checking me out again, and he knew I’d been scoping him too, and I should’ve said something like, if you’re wondering what I look like naked, I’m wondering the same thing about you too and we should just get naked, and ask Q’s later, or maybe not even do that if we can’t see ourselves ever doing it again.    
   
It was obvious he followed the notes of the anais anais delice by cacharel scent I layered myself in earlier as he tailgated me to the front of the cafe, and I wondered what his lips would taste like, whilst also noting his big hands & long piano fingers, and I wondered if his voice was rustic, deep & slightly raspy whilst also taking a mental note that the man wasn’t donning a wedding ring.    
   
Five minutes of pondering his style of fuckery, and a number of ways that I could empty his balls all over me, I realise that I should’ve asked him for his number so I could straddle his darkest & most deepest proclivities whilst enticing him to explode all over my lips like a firecracker.    
   
It’s almost midnight, and I wish I’d flirted, or said something other than thanks, when he opened the door for me post collecting his order just as the barista called me forth to collect my cappuccino, and we both made a beeline for the door.    
   
All I could say was thanks as he lingered behind me closely, probably inhaling my perfume whilst watching me walk to my vehicle, and I sat in my car and watched him head to his 2 door old red Ford truck, that was parked a little further down the road.    
   
If I’m lucky our paths will cross again at the cafe, and next time, I hope my shyness doesn’t grip me by the throat & silence me, like it did today.    
   
I think the lockdown has triggered some kind of social anxiety as it’s unlike me to feel, and be so awkward, given I’m a bubbly little firey thing that oft craves social engagement, in person.    
   
I tried to catch another sunset this evening, and there were hundreds of others embarking upon the same journey as they sat on their towels & picnic blankets on the foreshore, whilst watching the tiniest most gentlest waves roll crash, awaiting the sun to dip on the horizon.    
   
And I, opted to sit in my car with my windows partially wound down, pondering how many of those hundreds of unmasked people, might be infected with COVID-19.    
   
Sighs. I think a part of me is a smidgen broken.    
   
Living in a COVID-19 post lockdown related fucked up world is daunting but these fleeting daydreams of potential surrender to another, makes it somewhat bearable.    
   
For now at least, and tomorrow is another day to potentially encounter that heavenly creature once again, unless he was merely passing through on his commute to & from fuck knows where.    
   
Sighs. Knowing my luck, that’ll be the case…