deepundergroundpoetry.com

Eating.

An ache.

Something hard to suppress as I stare at the tray
The one the other children have piled with food
Delicious tacos and multiple dressings
Along with a fruit cup with grapes and other such nutrition
Yet their physique stay the same lean
So thin and curved perfectly
Not worrying as they shovel the sustenance into their mouths....

I look down at my tray.

Nothing there but a chocolate milk
A wide orange tray with one lone item on it
Smirking as I find it to almost be quite silly
That this one item can fill me up
Or at least that's what I want it to do.

Over the week I've felt my body break down slowly
Knees cracking at any time they bend
Body not being able to support the burden it carries
Mind slowly becoming more desperate for sustenance
Watching the flab melt away into my body....

"God, why can't it just disappear?"

Soon it becomes hard to eat anything heavy
The food sliding down an unwilling throat
Stomach rebelling from the amount it takes in
Even though it's only a bite...
Just a bite....

I reassure myself I can eat whenever I want to
Just as long as I get to the record goal
One fifteen is where I need to be
Then I'll eat some soup or something....

But maybe
Just maybe
It's not that easy to quit.