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Image for the poem unsounded.

unsounded.



I can't fully remember
how you sound

not exactly
not anymore

Not your timbre
or sass
distinctive in style
Nor the retorts, so slick and searing
and not that laugh
yeah
That. Tremendous. Laugh.

I'd barter away most things
without an iota of care
to hear it.... just once more

My mind accesses it
as warped and warbly
What I think-perhaps or maybe
what I once thought
so sure, of what I thought I remembered
Close, but not quite
almost.... but just out of grasp
only a fuzziness,
is there

[ As a kid
you would return from weekly travel—
we'd be excitedly waiting,
for our favorite 'celebration'
every Friday night,
was full of
kiddie airplane wing souvenirs
small travel sized US Air airline peanuts
(it was SUCH a treat)
along with sheer exhaustion
that swelled the bag
under each of your tired eyes
Despite this— (or maybe because of)
you bounded through the front door
full of energy,
(energy, from God knows where)
"Where're my girls at!!?"
"Anyone seen three troublemakers!!?"
Demands, lovingly harsh
and wrought with perfect steel ]


(as little delighted screams rang out)

Sounds, now shadows
of memories
aching in want
of recollection

Sometimes, I marvel at my unawareness,
that it is all slowly fading away...

-that's when I inadvertently cry
my daddy's girl cry-

I used to listen to you
on this old answering machine
the kind with cassette tapes
that recorded the outgoing
and incoming
I was tickled at the abundant verve
and deeply adored the utter effectiveness

Gone now,
is that remarkable recording
like you....
withered away to dust
along with the very sounds
of my origins
My history,
the very beginnings
were your voice
and those sounds
moulded
and
shaped

me.

"da da" of course
were my first words
(so says, the very sparsely filled out baby book)

A lifetime, (to date)
spent listening.

Selfsoothing-
this soul— my soul
lost amongst ghosts
and the cacophony
coming from
all the insistent "r's"

recognizing

recollecting
 
reminding

in remembrance of...

your
particular
cherished
voice.

.
.
.
.
.
.
Perhaps-
just maybe
if I try hard
enough


I can hear
that laughing











ever
so
faintly

Bluevelvete
Written by Bluevelvete
Published
Author's Note
©Blu2021
My #Nopoo from yesterday... slightly updated

©Blu2021
My #Nopoo from yesterday... slightly updated





-missing you so, daddy-

https://youtu.be/Mcu7O3EI7hI
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