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FSA

 Have you ever been in a situation whereas you're the only one not in on the joke. Some time ago I had two close friends file for and receive a divorce. I was totally unprepared for this because in my mind they were the perfect couple. They had what I considered that glow, they shined when they were together. In some ways I was jealous of their relationship, but in others I was just happy for them. Somethings in life just aren't supposed to be, and evidently they weren't supposed to remain together, But my curiosity had been peaked, everytime that I asked someone why did they split up? People always laughed and changed the subject. Some people smiled and walked away laughing. This would make even the Pope a little curious, shit an inside joke is the ultimate. While standing around at a cookout one afternoon I came up with an idea to get in the know. I spotted Larry, a long time friend and the neighborhood drunk, sitting alone and sipping a drink. I knew that he wanted company so that he could really whip this free alcohol's ass. I poured up two drinks, kind to him really doesn't matter. I went over sat down across from him and simply watched and waited as he downed drink after drink. We discussed sports, that new girl with the yellow halter top, we even talked about doing some fishing. The time finally came when I figured he was tipsy enough for me to pop the question. I leaned in to him and asked him, "why did our happy couple divorce?"
He leans in to me and ask, "are you talking about our friends?" I nod yes and he suggest that we go get another drink because it was a story to tell. With fresh drinks we returned to our seats, this time sitting closer, and the story began.
    It just so happened he was promoted at work and this required longer hours. To account for his time away from home he brought her a new laptop to keep her company. She being the intelligent and outgoing sort started blogging. This became their new relationship behind close doors. It appears he wasn't getting any cozy time. After dinner, a little tv, and then time for bed. This meant that he was supposed to rollover and go to sleep as she blogged away into the night.But let me tell you, time and pressure creates more that diamonds. A set of blue balls is just as hard, and on this night he decided to have it out about her not sharing her time with him anymore. Everything followed it's normal course of action except this time he didn't roll over and go to sleep. As soon as she got out her laptop, he started with the questions and complaining. She retaliated defending her actions. What should had been a simple discussion turned into an all out war. Martians were calling the police with complains about the many "fuck yous," "bitch," and the oldie but goodie "motherfucker." Shit finally came to a head she placed the laptop on the nightstand, slid down in the bed with her back towards him, and
released the longest, loudest fart that he had ever heard. She then sat back up in the bed and grab her laptop, while typing away at those keys she repeatedly said, "Like Share And Subscribe Motherfucker, Like Share And Subscribe.
    He raised his glass back up to his mouth taking a long last sip, I mean leaving it there to be asked. As I passed him my drink, I asked him, "what did he do?" He said, "oh him, he didn't do shit." He sprung up out of that bed flew into the bathroom and spent the rest of the night taking hot showers. The next morning he went and saw a lawyer about a divorce. I asked Larry, "when was the last time that you saw him and he said he doesn't come around much anymore. Larry said that our friend still has it in his head that he smells of that fart. With the cookout winding down, I said my good-byes and left, I needed to come through for my friend. The next few hours was spent researching and compiling info on a support group that I thought could help him. I sent everything through an email and that email changed his life. Since he joined FSA (Fart Sniffers Anonymous), he's been fart free for three years now. And he has a therapist that is helping him with the nightmares. He simply wakes up screaming with Like Share And Subscribe Motherfucker, ringing in his ears      
I_IS_ME
Written by I_IS_ME
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