Kaya Lions

This girl I met at the
tavern today told
me she’s trying
to get out of

but she didn’t want to
move out of California

I asked her why she
wanted to get out
of LA and she said,

she made money working
here, but didn’t want to
do that anymore

I asked her what she
did and she said, I
make pornos, but
not for any of the
big companies

I said, no shit?

then I told my friend, hey,
she’s from the bay area

and they started talking
about how shitty northern
California had become and
why they could never
go back,

as I scarfed down my
chicken parmesan

she said she was considering
investing in property

I told her I bought a
condo eight years

and she asked me for my
twitter and Instagram

I said, I don’t have that, so
she gave me her phone and
asked me to put my
number in it,

I gave her my work
cell because I was
still on the job

and I said, oh, shit, I gave
you my work cell

she laughed and drank
the rest of her tequila

she said she was going to
meet some friends for
lunch, but she’d be
back later with

when she left, my buddy
looked her up from the
name on her credit card

the first article that popped
up was a murder for hire
scheme with the headline,
“We did a lot of coke that

then he found her stage
name, and was, like, holy

I mean, this chick was in it

this wasn’t some amateur
shit, or 12 videos and

this was six hundred plus
videos and 98th overall

a bona fide industry vet

and now her number was
on my work cell

I started thinking about the
ramifications of having a
porn star send nudes to
your corporate iPhone

then later on, I wanked myself to
her plethora of online

after which, I contemplated
suicide, drank Tito’s and
White Claw, smoked Mirayo by
Santana, and watched ASMR
videos on YouTube
until I passed out in
the bed my father
bought me, in
that lonely
condo in

Written by Taurek
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