clouds on the horizon

I love and hate this place
in equal measure
it's like I'm standing
on the edge of a precipice
with the sunshine on one side
and a storm on the other

You know that when the storm is over
the sunshine won't be exactly the same
and as much as you wish
you could weather more storms
you're not built to withstand the wind
and rain and waves
that lash at your body
and threaten to drown you

There's no shame
in staying alive

There's no shame in running
and finding shelter some place else
where the storms rage less
and the sun shines more frequently

Except when you stand here
in this familiar place
with the memories of a life already lived
the good times hurt more now
than the bad
they remind you of better days
they remind you of what you've lost
and what you're not sure you want back
because the promised silver lining
looks like storm clouds
and no one can tell you any different

Silver is just another shade of grey

© Indie Adams 2021