deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lying naked in a field of green
light reflects
off the fields
burning green
upon my eyes
green...the color of jealousy
as they watch the clouds
freely pass overhead
and listen
to the babbling brook
swiftly flow by
on an adventure
to some far off land
and the field must sit there
and wait
as the summer turns to emptiness
to be cover by the snow
off the fields
burning green
upon my eyes
green...the color of jealousy
as they watch the clouds
freely pass overhead
and listen
to the babbling brook
swiftly flow by
on an adventure
to some far off land
and the field must sit there
and wait
as the summer turns to emptiness
to be cover by the snow
Published 2nd Oct 2021
| Edited 5th Oct 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 6
reads 364
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 2nd Oct 2021 9:06pm
2nd Oct 2021 9:04pm
Really great richness of imagery... I love the feel of foreshadowing I get .... the sense of 'impending'... beautifully conveyed in such a wonderful and slightly melancholic way...I am total a sucker for that combination and you really nail it completely, imo.
Terrifically penned ink—
Thank you for sharing with us 🙏🏻
🌹 - B
Terrifically penned ink—
Thank you for sharing with us 🙏🏻
🌹 - B
5th Oct 2021 3:33am
3rd Oct 2021 8:30pm
5th Oct 2021 3:33am
7th Oct 2021 5:03am
Enjoy the liberal use of a cretic foot in the first 5 or so lines; gives the opening a heavy, propulsive, rhythmic feel;
Also enjoy the irony of the eyes being jealous (or so the grammar tells us, and irony suggests this is correct), at the same time the field *may* be jealous as well--
Zizek, interpreting Lacan, argues that a person watching an object, is regarded by the object as well.
Much to enjoy here, both technically, as well as in the realm of ideas.
Enjoyed & LIKED!
Also enjoy the irony of the eyes being jealous (or so the grammar tells us, and irony suggests this is correct), at the same time the field *may* be jealous as well--
Zizek, interpreting Lacan, argues that a person watching an object, is regarded by the object as well.
Much to enjoy here, both technically, as well as in the realm of ideas.
Enjoyed & LIKED!
8th Oct 2021 2:32am
