Becoming

I am becoming,
all that i advocated against.
Slipping back into old ways-
-i fought so hard to change.

Now exhausted like my excuses,
to find what i represent.
I don't know how many times that i may have left.

Start over

All i have left, has caught right back up.
All left behind, pulls me back; fuck
Too long to realize.
To long for real.

Clutching at my chest,
Desperate for a breath;
Desperate for a beat.
Slow leak.

Gripped by gripe.
My own.
Nothing i own.
My own nothing.

To own myself and actions;
As a slave.
Misbehaved; according to who?
Fuck you