It's not probable that
the air will ever be fully cleared;
attempts were met with defense
Ah, the stories ....
Remembrances , embellished
to fit narratives into more drama
than they actually had.
Some were purposeful.
Recent ones were probably
effects of age on mind and memory.
It is probable that I will cry, someday
at your funeral --
it's a requirement on the mourning checklist .
I may cry for myself, too
because my need for human contact
comes with an expiration date, and
there were times when
I just couldn't be bothered.
There's a good probability
I've figured out where my trust fund went,
the one you thought I knew nothing about.
I know a lot of things.
I know decency took the road less traveled
when the opportunity to tell me the truth ,
I know i will probably get repaid
from your estate someday, but
the trust will still be gone
in more ways than one.
I will probably always call you "Mother."
I will probably stop trying
to create idyllic snapshots of life, because
some of it needs to end up
on the cutting room floor .
I will definitely be there when your mind goes
to where your own mother's did , and
I held her hand through it.
That's when all the secrets are birthed
of their own accord, and
I probably won't care anymore about them;
I will just be your daughter.