Free but Chained

Free but Chained:
 
Freed but chained to the mercy of your perspectives. I roam with no chains but yet imprisoned and restricted and no this is not me just being defensive. You were selective in how you've treated me and what you'll do to me and how you see me. Ultimately you gave me what I believed was me being free. But what does it mean to be free. Am I free to be me, or am I free only to be what you want or need. Can I see life as an open canvas to explore. Or am I being held up by your expectations that turn into walls and locked doors. Now don't start crying and appear to be hurt to the core. Forcing empathy is no more than just another locked door. Trying to express how I feel at risk of causing pain. Feeling as if I am the crazy one for thinking this emotional rollercoaster is insane. And if you claim that you don't see the nature of your crime..Think of one showing up innocent saying don't hurt me while stabbing you at the same time. I'm paralyzed by innocence and my life is continuously drained. Until one day my outlook of life is no longer the same. You have no shame after all you're the victim. Penance  must be paid and you must be vindicated. At the cost of one screaming to be liberated. It's almost like I am sedated or brainwashed paying for a thing not knowing the real cost. Believing I am headed in the right direction but still lost. Embracing what seems like heaven and oblivious to the hell its wrought.If there is one thing I was taught through all this, is this to be true. The one person that can break you out of your prison. Isn't the jailer its you.
And until you do you won't see light when it's day and your life will slowly decay. Go ahead continue to pray and ask God to make a way. So when you meet God and ask God why were you still in chains while you asked Him to make a way. He will say child your freedom was already paid. Just because you were in a prison don't mean the prison won't  open. As you're holding unto your prison bars not believing all you have to do is push. Your confidence mushed and mingled  with doubt. Frustrated to the point where you want to shout in rage, pain, sorrow. Looking at others for joy and happiness to borrow. And lo you conclude that this is just how it's got to be and stay true to this claim. You accepted a life of one being free and yet still in chains.