deepundergroundpoetry.com
An Etheree
Kiss
again
my throat, my
ears, my eyes, my
hands, my naked thighs,
my toes, my fingertips.
Your kiss is a maddening,
a god’s voice, a rage against my
skin that makes me senseless to my sense
of where I end and where I, rough, begin.
again
my throat, my
ears, my eyes, my
hands, my naked thighs,
my toes, my fingertips.
Your kiss is a maddening,
a god’s voice, a rage against my
skin that makes me senseless to my sense
of where I end and where I, rough, begin.
Published 20th Sep 2021
Author's Note
I've been experimenting with a form called an Etheree -- a syllabic form which contains 10 lines and where each line length is increased by one syllable (i.e., one syllable for line one, two for line two, etc.). I challenge those here who think they are god's gift to poetry to cast something comprehensible in this form. Hey, J-Z, let's see you put your money where your mouth is. Does anyone want to bet that he'll hide is inability to write an etheree by saying something like he hasn't the time to do so?
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The author encourages honest critique.
21st Sep 2021 5:11pm
Dear Baldwin,
1- You rhyme three lines of your poem with MY. Is that your good rhyme scheme?
2- Your mind is occupied by sex. It needs a lot of resistance to get its independence, Baldwin. SORRY
1- You rhyme three lines of your poem with MY. Is that your good rhyme scheme?
2- Your mind is occupied by sex. It needs a lot of resistance to get its independence, Baldwin. SORRY
What evidence do you have that etherees have to rhyme or that the words ending the lines in an etheree cannot, let alone should not, be the same?
In any case, my money is on the fact that you are incapable of constructing an etheree, le3t alone one that does not contain grammar gaffes and that is comprehensible.
I've met your challenges to write in given metrics. Let's see you meet mine to you.
And what's wrong with having a mind that's "occupied" by [with?] sex, even if it's true [it isn't -- as quite a few of my submissions show] that I do. In my eyes, it's a more enjoyable subject to write and read about than pieces that are occupied with how one finds happiness in a disembodied existence in some ghostly realm or how Jesus shows his love to "man".
In any case, my money is on the fact that you are incapable of constructing an etheree, le3t alone one that does not contain grammar gaffes and that is comprehensible.
I've met your challenges to write in given metrics. Let's see you meet mine to you.
And what's wrong with having a mind that's "occupied" by [with?] sex, even if it's true [it isn't -- as quite a few of my submissions show] that I do. In my eyes, it's a more enjoyable subject to write and read about than pieces that are occupied with how one finds happiness in a disembodied existence in some ghostly realm or how Jesus shows his love to "man".
