deepundergroundpoetry.com
Awkward Beautiful
today is the day I die
but that doesn’t mean a thing
because the last thought I have is of you
and as the flames cover me
just know I'm at peace
reminiscing of the day we first met
that sight when I first looked into your eyes
you were awkward yet so beautiful
with a smile that drove me in your heart
days got hard but we fought through the odds
we were young with the world ahead of us
still I feared it would end
because I could be such a nerd
I realized in time
that none of that mattered
just know the pain didn't break me
because the last memory I have is of you
like the time we laid together
talking about the sky
as I turned to kiss you
you asked me to wait
so I took your hand and ran it across my face
hoping that the next time would be the day
now I know what we are
we are human
and I know what we are meant for
it’s to live
and when we die it’s not a tragedy
it’s just the end
so I’m sorry
but just know I loved you
more and more every day
if there is an afterlife
I will wait for you...
when the plane came
I watched in despair
the crash shattered the windows
and deafen my ears
as the flames covered my body
they evaporated my tears
I started to burn to ashe
falling down so unprepared
not ready to lose you
but so happy I knew you
with all my heart
but that doesn’t mean a thing
because the last thought I have is of you
and as the flames cover me
just know I'm at peace
reminiscing of the day we first met
that sight when I first looked into your eyes
you were awkward yet so beautiful
with a smile that drove me in your heart
days got hard but we fought through the odds
we were young with the world ahead of us
still I feared it would end
because I could be such a nerd
I realized in time
that none of that mattered
just know the pain didn't break me
because the last memory I have is of you
like the time we laid together
talking about the sky
as I turned to kiss you
you asked me to wait
so I took your hand and ran it across my face
hoping that the next time would be the day
now I know what we are
we are human
and I know what we are meant for
it’s to live
and when we die it’s not a tragedy
it’s just the end
so I’m sorry
but just know I loved you
more and more every day
if there is an afterlife
I will wait for you...
when the plane came
I watched in despair
the crash shattered the windows
and deafen my ears
as the flames covered my body
they evaporated my tears
I started to burn to ashe
falling down so unprepared
not ready to lose you
but so happy I knew you
with all my heart
Published 11th Sep 2021
| Edited 12th Sep 2021
Author's Note
This is a rewrite of a old poem I wrote some time after 9/11. Guess the first emotion that hit me that day was all the lost love. I imagined what it would be like if I was there. What would be my last thoughts. And I thought of the person I love.
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11th Sep 2021 11:59am
12th Sep 2021 12:49pm
14th Sep 2021 3:18pm
This is so intimate and beautifully touching. To feel that intense love, to fight through the pain, to find that incredible sense of peace sharing it with someone else. 'you were awkward yet so beautiful with a smile that drove me in your heart' really drove this poem into my heart. That awkwardness in all of us is something special to be cherished. I love how you captured the struggles of starting out when young but also the perseverance and not being broken by the challenges. And those small things, a hand on the cheek or talking about the sky. 'If there is an afterlife I will wait for you' such a deep love that we hope to experience in our life time and beyond. The final stanza is so sad and definitely brings back vivid memories of the tragedy with your closing lines still expressing such a incredible bond and love. Truly this is a gorgeous piece of writing with multiple deep meanings.
15th Sep 2021 8:21am
Thank you for such a great comment. I wrote the original some days after 9/11. I was very much a kid myself. I guess when writing this that's the feeling that hit me. Very much was finding love at the time, the thought of losing that in such away helped me Kind of make sense of it.
15th Sep 2021 12:30pm
It is even more meaningful knowing that you wrote it some days after 9/11. It really is a beautiful piece in so many ways. I was very young when 9/11 happened and it was certainly very difficult to make any sense of it or comprehend. Thanks again for sharing.
