Coffee Beans For Kisses

Coffee Beans For Kisses  
      
     A guy barista paces in front of me seemingly oblivious to my presence at the counter. He disappears into the back room. No sooner does he vanish than my favorite woman barista appears like an angel from a celestial realm. She says, “Hey David told me you were lonely for a woman.”      
     “Well, truthfully he was right. I need an infusion of female energy. You all are finally catching onto my technique.”      
     “You better believe it. I see you watching the counter until a woman emerges to serve you. Then you dash up here with a Pavlovian eagerness that can’t fool any of us. You are a puppy in need of his treat. So we had a powwow and our women decided to service your needs.”        
     “Your coffee chases those bagels down like the sun banishing clouds for my big break in the show biz of contented customers.”      
     “My sweet tooth makes the poppy seed muffins        
a temptation to snack on which can show up positive for the surprise drug tests they do here.”      
     “Well, I’ll switch from bagels to those muffins to reduce your supply and thereby your opportunities for getting in trouble.”      
     “You know I’ve never tried opium. It is just that the tests get a false positive reading after eating those impossible to resist treats. What methadone can you give me to substitute for my muffin fix?”      
     “Art is the only vice that can replace your craving for sugar. You are an animated Monet. Your hair ripples like canola in the breeze of a Saskatchewan field.”      
     “I love grains with the good cholesterol. And I fancy myself healthy to be around. But if I was a field it would be a sunflower one in Kansas.”      
     “Let me take you to where Mammoths once roamed the ice age plains.”      
     “We’ll need separate motel rooms which would double the costs. I mean we couldn’t share a room I assume?”      
     “We’d get a king-size bed with room enough for two.”      
     “Oh, you coyote. OK, an oversize bed will give me plenty of space. Yesterday it was Europe. But if you keep expanding on this globetrotting my head will spin out of control.”      
     “Would you like to choose the next location?”      
     “Yes, the Forbidden City of Beijing. I like any place with the word forbidden in it.”      
     “Will we share a bed in China?”      
     “Well, I don’t think we’ll afford two rooms after the plane fare. But I hear religion is making a comeback in China. We could pose as beggar monks and hitchhike all the way to Tibet.”      
     “Do you know your sutras?”      
     “No, but I can fake my way through most situations.”