I Think I Remember

I think I remember how we met.
I remember smiling at my screen while we spoke for hours on end.
The beginning to the longest chapter of my life (thus far)

I think I remember the feeling of asking you out.
The feeling was similar to getting on a rollercoaster for the first time, not knowing all the ups and downs that are yet to come.

I think I remember falling in love.
Hearing your mind so eloquently spoken with that beautiful voice of yours. Seeing you smile as you share your interests with me.

I think I remember feeling the freedom to love who I was, the freedom to be proud of what I liked and what made me happy.
I found myself because of you.

I think I remember our trips.
Mostly art museums. Our second home. Seeing you examine million dollar artworks while I looked at you because you were the most beautiful piece of art I could see.

But…

I think remember our fights as well.
Arguing more and more as the days passed. Feeling as if we lost our spark.

I think I remember us growing apart.
Feeling like we just didn’t have time for each other anymore. Feeling like I’d rather spend the night alone than to be with you.

I think I remember our break ups.
First me and then me again and then you.
The first time I felt my heart break

I think I remember the aftermath.
Days of nonstop crying.
Missing your warmth, your voice, your hand rubbing the back of my head.
I missed you.
Having to erase memories of you and us.
Having to pretend like you weren’t the one who took some of my favorite pictures of me.
Not having you to call for a “Goodmorning”
And not having you to call for a “Goodnight”

My memory gets foggy as the time passes but I think I remember.