Puff the Magic Barista

Puff the Magic Barista

     She is coffee shop art whose corona of golden curls glows in a haloed luster with her belly button on display like a magic mushroom afloat in a field of ivory.
     She turns and dips like a Goddess who stoops to conquer. I gaze upon her like an art patron in a Louvre of the mind.
     But for two days straight her job duties are exclusively to answer questions for her boss man. He leads her around the shop with conversation the backdrop for her alluring attire.
     I eavesdrop while standing in line for coffee. The owner begins his inquisition. “Listen, the time you are spending conversing with the patrons is slowing the service to a crawl. The customers waiting for you in the queue look frustrated. Keep it to a simple have a nice day and enjoy. No need for sharing life stories with them.”
     “Well, once they move up the line they have something to look forward to. How many baristas give the individualized attention I do?”
     “Keep it short and simple. If you like tell the women how beautiful their necklace is or their dress. But don’t ask them at what Mardi Gras parade they got the beads they are wearing or where they got their hair done because it is so beautiful because their bangs look so precise.”
     “Women love it when someone compliments their hairdo. It makes them feel appreciated. Men do to though it isn’t as customary for a Barista to tell them their Mullet looks manly.”
     “Selena, leave the gridlock for the highway. People don’t want to be late for their classes or to be stuck in a line when they could be playing Frisbee on the parade ground. Have mercy on those with schedules to meet.”
     “But you have to look in the eyes of a patron who got complimented for their nail polish or their goatee. They might have gone all day hoping someone would notice.”
     “A brief ‘cute goatee’ would suffice. No need to elaborate on who did it for them.”
     “But they bask in my praise. When asking them where they got their nail polish done because I might get mine there they are in seventh heaven. Why deny this person the happiness they don’t get even from their spouse?”
    “We aren’t the club for body image therapy.”
     “But we could be! Think big. This can be much more than a coffee shop. We can be the favorite coffee house known far and wide for going beyond the call of duty. Be a visionary. Dream the great dream. Don’t be stuck in what we are and think of what we could be.”
     “I’ve been in the business for longer than you have been alive. Trust me people don’t want to be stuck in line while the clock is counting. They want to get their coffee and study together with their friends. This is a kind of recreational study hall.”
     “Hey, I get it. Really I do. But you should look at the big picture. I know that when my ego is stroked I am able to focus better on my academic work. It sounds unrelated but really it isn’t. The cogs of my intellect are greased by morale boosters.”
     “Selena, you are an idealist. But in life, you’ll discover that a wink or a smile is more than enough to create the coffee shop experience. Trust me and you will keep the gears of this establishment rolling smoothly.”      
     “What if I blow the steam off their coffee?”
     “They might think that a bit too up close and personal.”
     “What if I give the brew just a couple of puffs for good measure?”
     “You will become known as puff the magic Barista.”
     “Oh, you dragon man, your good humor has won the day.”