deepundergroundpoetry.com
Breathless
That smell before the rain
Dirt
Dirty dirt
Is there any other kind?
That shiver before the touch
Chills
Chilly chills
Would you want to feel any other way?
That power before the climax
Breathing
Deeply breathless
That afterglow
Sweat
Shiny sweat
Dirt
Dirty dirt
Is there any other kind?
That shiver before the touch
Chills
Chilly chills
Would you want to feel any other way?
That power before the climax
Breathing
Deeply breathless
That afterglow
Sweat
Shiny sweat
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 0
comments 10
reads 725
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 1:55pm
Re: Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 2:01pm
I think it’s midlife rage, bottled up too long.
Add death and heartache, give it a good stir and let it out. I’ll be screaming soon.
Thank you PS
Add death and heartache, give it a good stir and let it out. I’ll be screaming soon.
Thank you PS
Anonymous
- Edited 26th Jul 2022 10:45pm
11th Aug 2021 2:05pm
<< post removed >>

Re: Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 2:09pm
Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 2:27pm
Dang. I've missed your erotic expressions. I love the repetition for emphasis and the realism in the last three lines. And I love that you appeal to my sense of smell. Bravissima❣🌹
1

Re: Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 2:31pm
Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 4:16pm
Back to raw erotic form. Like that way of versing eg for mental picture:
That afterglow
Sweat
Shiny sweat
That afterglow
Sweat
Shiny sweat
1

Re: Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 11:19pm
Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 6:24pm
Oowww
And you sum it all up
The power, energy, and grittiness
In the minimum words needed
And all in the space of a breath
Damn Nice
And you sum it all up
The power, energy, and grittiness
In the minimum words needed
And all in the space of a breath
Damn Nice
1

Re: Re. Breathless
11th Aug 2021 11:20pm