When The Pictures Taunt (repost)

Back to the new beginning
After all that we've been through
You helped me to get where I am now
But I can't help but ask what about you?

For all you worked towards
To reap the end of all you've done
When you found a new home
When you are lover and not just a mother to a broken son

Don't let this end at merely one opportunity to meet my bride
When she in some ways reminds me of you
For the best qualities of your strength and mercy
Tenderhearted resilience and beauty
The world's got nothing on the view

Family scenes and snapshots of our smiles after our tears
After all the pain and sorrow, don't pass before our most pivotal years
In the reaping of all we've made it through
One of the greatest rewards of our lives was standing there smiling next to you

Family, friends, and distant relatives, reunited on kinder tides
After the storms wreckage nearly broke us we came out with dreams inside
Intact and ready to face reality and make it all come true
Yet what is my dream but incomplete should I live it without you

Aiming not to dwell in places I lose my mind to a thought
When every fear that haunts me is my heart's rot
Tainting every moment that I squander wishing on what may or may not be
I ache beneath my hopeful yearning for what I cannot see

Praying that we have not made our last memory
While trying to come to terms with a dimmer possibility
What is the appropriate response when faith goes to war with honesty?
Asking you to hold on, when it's beyond our control is selfish of me

When our will only goes so far to salvage our lives
All I can do is look at where we are right now
Thanking God for every moment
And praying that you'll pull through, somehow

If it's your time just give me the indication
And help me to prepare
Though I don't know how
When I've never known a life in which you are not there

Retreat to memory, when I can't make things happen the way I want
And beautiful days feel like curses when the pictures taunt
Nevertheless, I reminisce on our last known perfect day
I watch you fading on the other side of the camera, as I beg you to stay

Heart heavy I love yous spoken just yearning to hear you say it again
As you fight through and make every effort to let me know
A lingering question in my mind refrains, is this the end?
In truth I have to tell you that I'm not ready to let go

How do I have faith for the best when the worst is all I see
Perspectives aiming to behold the light of a new reality
Mother, please tell me, what am I supposed to be?
When it's all the strength that I can muster just to breathe

You were the one that was always there
I'm not ready for you to leave
But if this is it, then I'll let you go
And I will honor your life with how you raised me to believe

Don't make me say goodbye, even so
Because I just don't know how
All I can think is I'll see you later
Waiting for here after, after here and now...
Written by cloventongue89 (Nathaniel Peter)
Author's Note
Written for my mom (21)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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