deepundergroundpoetry.com

Autism isn't a dirty word

Sometimes I feel as if I'm not playing the same game
There's rules no ones explained to me
If you put me in a situation where I can't escape
I bite my nails, shake my head, avoid your eyes
I can't escape your eyes, seeing everything
You think I'm stupid, It's written all over your face
I'm bad with tone but I've heard yours before
Out of the mouths of the adults in my life their
Fists against the walls by my face screaming at me why can't I be normal
I have forgotten that in this world I'm wrong
Entire organizations color the way my brain is wired as evil
I struggle not to be overstimulated by it all
Textures, flavors, tones, all of the violence
This mask is so deeply set on my face
That people can't always pick up when they look at me
They juat think I'm weird, they think I'm damaged.. quirky
But stick around and wait... Fuck you'll see
The things you think are wrong with me
Places like tiktok.. tumblr, specific websites
Where I've found my people who make me go
Maybe I'm not written wrong in this story
There's people like me out there struggling too
Who have the same cards that I have in this life
We're loud and glorious in these spaces
Where no one offers constant criticism
Oh, these special places that no one judges me
But then when I set my phone down...
I'm just so autistic... But I've learned to hide it so perfectly
Most wouldn't even know until they add it all together
Clues, puzzle pieces, traces of who I am
And when it clicks in your mind
Your whole perspective of me changes
From friend to foe the lightswitch goes
Instead of seeing my magic you see the propaganda
You believe all these negative things about people like me
And there is nothing I can do to change the mind of an ableist asshole like you
Autism isn't a dirty word in my world
So I pick up my phone and go back in it
Because there's no people like you there
In the places we've carved for ourselves

Written by BlueBeastGirl (Beasty)
Published
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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