The Funeral of Doubt

Everything in me aches for you
My heart is like an anvil
Thoughts of you consume me

 It hurts to be so far away
Feeling like every moment is critical
Part of me is here
Yet I continue to groan inside
Anger is a fire in me
The anguish is an overwhelming undertow
I try to maintain a level head
Steady waters in a deep and distant ocean
No one can see what swells beneath

Its 2 am and I canít sleep
I have a battle cry within
Waging war on an unseen enemy
Everything reminds me of you
Taking a calculated risk to believe

 I dare to hope
Just enough to slight the odds
Do we bet or do we count on God?
When faith is more than a gamble
Casting not away my confidence in Christ
I speak courage to strengthen fortitude
Indignant I cry and every tear is healing
Frustrated I take aim
Learning to cultivate stability
Amidst the lies that utter uncertainty
My tongue is both beautiful and lethal
If I should speak death
Then let it be the funeral of doubt
As my demons are but corpses
The decay of decay becomes compost
Death or flowerbed?
Every word is a seed
Every seed dies to be reborn
Tending to the inner garden
I break to blossom over the grave
In desperation
I am an underground cocoon
Born out of the water
The harvest will blossom in time
As I am unearthed by the pull of light
Fire bakes color into every petal

 Heart blooms like a fluttering butterfly
Coloring life with the pigments of my dreams
Learning to translate vision for the blind
Speaking till words materialize
Knocking and seeking as I find
Prayers beckon proclamations of our battle cries
Speak life unwavering
The breath of my faith is the death of fear
Killing the contention
Speak passion in the face of panic
Cease all depression
Sedate the anxiety of the manic
No more friendly fire warfare
No casualties among us
All that is intended for our undoing
Is but the reinforcement of our bond

 High hopes for heaven's cause
Rend the sky and take us beyond
Summit views from valley shadows
Donít throw out the day with the night
When darkness boasts like a foreboding fog
Let our hearts become a conduit to light...
Written by cloventongue89 (Nathaniel Peter)
Author's Note
This is the 12th poem I wrote for my mom after finding out about the brain cancer and prior to her passing away...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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