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lessons from a quick descent and the strength of long fought survival. (+Spoken Word)


  
I used to be  
light and airy  
floating along  
all niceties and sweetness  
sifting days upon days  
of warm sunshine  
and soft grass  
between my toes  
   
I used to laugh easily  
finding humor    
in the weird and unusual    
a sound filled  
with genuine joy    
mischievous, yet alluring  
always looking forward    
to a really great punchline  
and the belly ache  
from nonstop giggles    
   
I used to sing    
and dance    
of soulfulness  
that seared mighty    
as only a broken bird could    
haunting melodies    
so strange and peculiar    
songs that attracted    
but only as an oddity would    
   
I used to love  
with sheer abandon    
never giving a second thought  
about pain or suffering    
what that means, really    
or words like unrequited  
then, a word spoke  
like a foreign language  
that I would eventually learn  
to speak, oh so fluently    
   
I used to be smart    
with a solid head  
on my shoulders    
living graciously  
with a keen sense of purpose    
and understanding, quickly    
the ins and outs  
of certain complexities    
that would soon  
boggle and mystify    
   
I used to not worry    
seriously  
never stopping    
to reflect or ponder    
never allowing  
a small simmer, to boil  
no carving wounds  
that continually bled    
or a purge,  
from deep within  
that, which tears raw  
your insides  
in pain so fierce  
it would silence  
most aching voices    
   
I used to be another me    
someone once well cocooned—    
a shadow  
of something familiar    
one that has learned    
deep lessons    
cloaked in pain,  
patience,    
wisdom and a hopeful  
redemptive love  
   
Now,  
this me is schooled,    
graduated in all    
and everything    
that used to be  
a sort of lifetime packed  
into a year and a half    
recreating,    
in ways hard fought    
battle worn    
and full of survival    
blossoming to become    
this incarnation of me    
breathing in magic  
and    
still waiting  
   
to  
finally    
be  
   
   
   
   
   
set free  
   
   
    
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
Written by Bluevelvete
Published | Edited 11th Nov 2021
Author's Note
©Blu2021
Thoughts of changes since the pandemic started, until now.

Thanks for everything, DUP.
*tips my hat...
💙Blu
🌹
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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