deepundergroundpoetry.com
Milquetoast
Clothes still wet from the weather it had.
Mind’s still racing, should’ve known better than that.
I just stood there.
Frozen. Temps well above zero.
I just waited.
Chosen. Rep’s way below hero.
Can’t stop shaking man.
My heart can’t handle all these miles I ran.
I abandoned my friend...
Fuck!
My mind’s showing me every alternate outcome.
Every single one better than the one that I just ran out from.
I bet the cops are close. You know, the ones who were chasing.
I await knocks on the doors while hiding down in the basement.
Tears are coming.
For years I held them in so there’s a chance they won’t stop for a while.
Nervously humming.
My whole life I’ve been fucking up.
No wait, that’s a lie.
-
I look death in the eyes.
No virus can turn me.
No fire can burn me.
I did good mom?
No siren can stop me.
No lie can erupt me.
You did good son.
Mind’s still racing, should’ve known better than that.
I just stood there.
Frozen. Temps well above zero.
I just waited.
Chosen. Rep’s way below hero.
Can’t stop shaking man.
My heart can’t handle all these miles I ran.
I abandoned my friend...
Fuck!
My mind’s showing me every alternate outcome.
Every single one better than the one that I just ran out from.
I bet the cops are close. You know, the ones who were chasing.
I await knocks on the doors while hiding down in the basement.
Tears are coming.
For years I held them in so there’s a chance they won’t stop for a while.
Nervously humming.
My whole life I’ve been fucking up.
No wait, that’s a lie.
-
I look death in the eyes.
No virus can turn me.
No fire can burn me.
I did good mom?
No siren can stop me.
No lie can erupt me.
You did good son.
Published 27th Jul 2021
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27th Jul 2021 9:26am
Really enjoyed this.
Wonderful details--visceral, physical, sensory...and the dramatization of the racing-mind...fueled by adrenalin and cold...
And then the turn to the mother, internally...
There's a little hint of madness here, maybe schizophrenia...the hiding out in the basement...Yeah, sure, there's a narrative situation fueling that, but there's also the sense that the pursuers, such as they are, may be pyschological / neurological / chemical as well as the long arm of the law...The internal monologue with the mother, and the ambiguous nature of that, also suggests some kind of psychological imbalance.
Great stuff! Much enjoyed!
Wonderful details--visceral, physical, sensory...and the dramatization of the racing-mind...fueled by adrenalin and cold...
And then the turn to the mother, internally...
There's a little hint of madness here, maybe schizophrenia...the hiding out in the basement...Yeah, sure, there's a narrative situation fueling that, but there's also the sense that the pursuers, such as they are, may be pyschological / neurological / chemical as well as the long arm of the law...The internal monologue with the mother, and the ambiguous nature of that, also suggests some kind of psychological imbalance.
Great stuff! Much enjoyed!
27th Jul 2021 2:01pm
Thank you for taking time to read this piece and comment on it. It means a lot to me.
27th Jul 2021 5:42pm
Dear D,
I have to confess the element of fear and anxiety were ever present throughout your poem. While I find this a difficult subject to comment on you wrote about it exceptionally well in terms of the feelings I mention above. I’m terribly sorry if this is based from experience. This is incredibly great writing. H🌷
I have to confess the element of fear and anxiety were ever present throughout your poem. While I find this a difficult subject to comment on you wrote about it exceptionally well in terms of the feelings I mention above. I’m terribly sorry if this is based from experience. This is incredibly great writing. H🌷
