deepundergroundpoetry.com
nbhjghjhuygnjuygh
Mindlessly in universe,
We march thru all bones.
programmed by instinct and compulsion,
we eat the flesh of our own
lest "I" face death.
Each puppet, puppeteer'ed
Each puppeteer, a puppet.
We march thru all bones.
programmed by instinct and compulsion,
we eat the flesh of our own
lest "I" face death.
Each puppet, puppeteer'ed
Each puppeteer, a puppet.
Published 26th Jul 2021
Author's Note
Again not really sure where to go with this but ill still post it
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Jul 2021 7:19am
--A Moral Vision--
I like this, in terms of the vision of the world--
The tone of this vision, the mechanics of suffering in the world, how it works.
OK, all that works for me.
Honest Critique, or where it falls short: it's too abstract, too removed, too detached, when detachment is never challenged by too-involved detail, emotional investment.
Yes, this is the way evil--for lack of a better word--works. That's the grand vision of evil, to create such deprivation, etc., that each man turns his back on his others, if not viciously consumes. OK, but how does that look in the life of regular folks? Me, or you, or a cipher, to let the reader experience this vicariously?
I know what you're saying, but I want it to be made real, flesh on the page, for me, your humble reader.
Despite this, I enjoy the moral vision here.
I like this, in terms of the vision of the world--
The tone of this vision, the mechanics of suffering in the world, how it works.
OK, all that works for me.
Honest Critique, or where it falls short: it's too abstract, too removed, too detached, when detachment is never challenged by too-involved detail, emotional investment.
Yes, this is the way evil--for lack of a better word--works. That's the grand vision of evil, to create such deprivation, etc., that each man turns his back on his others, if not viciously consumes. OK, but how does that look in the life of regular folks? Me, or you, or a cipher, to let the reader experience this vicariously?
I know what you're saying, but I want it to be made real, flesh on the page, for me, your humble reader.
Despite this, I enjoy the moral vision here.
26th Jul 2021 7:55am
Yea i guess the broad idea i am working with is that humans and all things in the universe are 'of' the universe so when we eat animals or even plants we are eating ourselves in a universal sense. When we sustain ourselves by consumption we are claiming to take priority over the matter we consume and digest (also manipulate for our convenience.) The puppet thing is like about how countries in their own sense are individuals with personalities made up of people who are individual, but also components of the whole and those components are made up of more components etc... I don't mean for it to be about evil more about objective reality of existence. To live we must consume. To exist is to be both an individual and a part of a whole. You pose good questions and I appreciate your input! Thankyou!
