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deepundergroundpoetry.com
Animalistic rage
This feeling that chokes you is hard to get rid of
It consumes you but not slowly
It devours you so fast that you don't even get a chance to catch your breath
It chews you up and spits you out, leaving you with a deep craving for release.
And the thing is...there is no such thing as release, relief nor peace
The only relief you will manage to get from feelings that choke you as strongly as: loathing, anger, hatred, and regret is that moment you throw something across the room or take a blunt object and smash someone's head
Yes, the moment when you chuck something out of the window and watch it shatter to pieces as your anger kindles
That's the only moment of peace you will get if you ever find yourself feeling awful like that
Why do we get release from shackles that burn only by breaking things or throwing a tantrum whenever we're at our worst?
Is it because the easiest way to cope is to break someone's nose?
Or take a baseball bat to a car and smash its windows while pretending you don't have a heart?
Is it because that's exactly how we feel?
Thrown away, broken and used?
In pieces and no good?
Is it truly that relatable?
Or is it the fact that pure and raw animalistic rage can be quenched only by resorting to violence?
By inflicting pain and abuse in the same way it has been inflicted on you and your entire being if not even worse?
Isn't the world tired of abuse? Of screaming until all hell breaks loose
Because personally I cannot bear to look
To look at myself and to see exactly what becomes of me when I come undone at my seams.
Why is the devil himself hiding in me?
Why is the rage within me so strong that I can feel my blood boil?
My anger burns me from the inside and makes me unable to think
Oh, how I wish I didn’t have to live like this.
Why does no one talk about the livid rage that awakes inside of abused beings?
Why does no one care for broken things?
Broken things such as myself and my poor, and frail mental health.
I would bet my last cent that I have a few screws loose.
I was never in my right mind and I was never good.
I would make myself better if I could.
But I CAN’T! And I can’t control myself!
My jaw hurts from how tightly I keep it clenched.
My gums throb from how much I bare my teeth.
I’m like a rabid dog on a tight leash.
That's just waiting for a chance to tear everything around itself apart.
Just to make things hard.
Simply to watch them bleed while I lose myself to my aching needs.
I am an animal with a disease.
I'm so frustrated with myself and everyone else, and the way that things have been
I feel the need to rip off my skin
I just don't know how to get rid of it
How to get rid of this drowning feeling of dread that consumes my thoughts I try so hard to keep buried in my head
I would rather be dead
Than have to live through such anger and hatred for others and myself again
It consumes you but not slowly
It devours you so fast that you don't even get a chance to catch your breath
It chews you up and spits you out, leaving you with a deep craving for release.
And the thing is...there is no such thing as release, relief nor peace
The only relief you will manage to get from feelings that choke you as strongly as: loathing, anger, hatred, and regret is that moment you throw something across the room or take a blunt object and smash someone's head
Yes, the moment when you chuck something out of the window and watch it shatter to pieces as your anger kindles
That's the only moment of peace you will get if you ever find yourself feeling awful like that
Why do we get release from shackles that burn only by breaking things or throwing a tantrum whenever we're at our worst?
Is it because the easiest way to cope is to break someone's nose?
Or take a baseball bat to a car and smash its windows while pretending you don't have a heart?
Is it because that's exactly how we feel?
Thrown away, broken and used?
In pieces and no good?
Is it truly that relatable?
Or is it the fact that pure and raw animalistic rage can be quenched only by resorting to violence?
By inflicting pain and abuse in the same way it has been inflicted on you and your entire being if not even worse?
Isn't the world tired of abuse? Of screaming until all hell breaks loose
Because personally I cannot bear to look
To look at myself and to see exactly what becomes of me when I come undone at my seams.
Why is the devil himself hiding in me?
Why is the rage within me so strong that I can feel my blood boil?
My anger burns me from the inside and makes me unable to think
Oh, how I wish I didn’t have to live like this.
Why does no one talk about the livid rage that awakes inside of abused beings?
Why does no one care for broken things?
Broken things such as myself and my poor, and frail mental health.
I would bet my last cent that I have a few screws loose.
I was never in my right mind and I was never good.
I would make myself better if I could.
But I CAN’T! And I can’t control myself!
My jaw hurts from how tightly I keep it clenched.
My gums throb from how much I bare my teeth.
I’m like a rabid dog on a tight leash.
That's just waiting for a chance to tear everything around itself apart.
Just to make things hard.
Simply to watch them bleed while I lose myself to my aching needs.
I am an animal with a disease.
I'm so frustrated with myself and everyone else, and the way that things have been
I feel the need to rip off my skin
I just don't know how to get rid of it
How to get rid of this drowning feeling of dread that consumes my thoughts I try so hard to keep buried in my head
I would rather be dead
Than have to live through such anger and hatred for others and myself again
Published 25th Jul 2021
| Edited 25th Apr 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 411
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
25th Jul 2021 11:48am
I really enjoy this.
They say ("they"...who the hell is "they"???)...well, they say rage is addictive. I don't know.
I do know that I started to notice I would enter rages so bad, I would wake up the next day will full-body pain...muscular pain, joints, even internal...not from physically exerting myself, but just the intensity of the rage...Even pain in my chest over the next several days.
That's when I had to re-evaluate how angry I'd let myself get.
Honest Critique: this poem stays on the surface. I like the poem when it gets to looking at possible reasons why a person flies into a rage--the 2nd half of the 2nd stanza is notable in this regard, powerful, authentic, interesting.
Bad: Watch out for cliches, like "steam comes out my ears". It's a cartoon image, and out of place in this poem.
Good: Talking about feeling like you need to rip off your skin--that's great. Totally relatable, and it gives the reader an immediate visceral sense of how you experience rage, what it's like for you. If this poem is going to succeed, it's because you develop the latter...translating your psychological experience of rage into palpable, immediate, sensory experiences the reader can share.
I'd like to see you do that.
Enjoyed!
They say ("they"...who the hell is "they"???)...well, they say rage is addictive. I don't know.
I do know that I started to notice I would enter rages so bad, I would wake up the next day will full-body pain...muscular pain, joints, even internal...not from physically exerting myself, but just the intensity of the rage...Even pain in my chest over the next several days.
That's when I had to re-evaluate how angry I'd let myself get.
Honest Critique: this poem stays on the surface. I like the poem when it gets to looking at possible reasons why a person flies into a rage--the 2nd half of the 2nd stanza is notable in this regard, powerful, authentic, interesting.
Bad: Watch out for cliches, like "steam comes out my ears". It's a cartoon image, and out of place in this poem.
Good: Talking about feeling like you need to rip off your skin--that's great. Totally relatable, and it gives the reader an immediate visceral sense of how you experience rage, what it's like for you. If this poem is going to succeed, it's because you develop the latter...translating your psychological experience of rage into palpable, immediate, sensory experiences the reader can share.
I'd like to see you do that.
Enjoyed!
7th Aug 2021 1:13am
AH wow thank you so much for reading my poem and leaving me a comment! This is by far my favorite comment, it's so detailed.
To be honest I don't have anger issues and I just bullshitteded the whole thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with such anger and I hope you feel better. Ngl I did have a period in my life where I was frustrated but it was nothing like this so this poem is probably not realistic at all.
To be honest I don't have anger issues and I just bullshitteded the whole thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with such anger and I hope you feel better. Ngl I did have a period in my life where I was frustrated but it was nothing like this so this poem is probably not realistic at all.
24th Jan 2022 2:00pm
As a former combat veteran/first responder I can truly say that I understand this one, the anger within one's self where it drives the person almost to the edge I feel that way at times and to read something like this I feel like I connected with it.
6th Feb 2022 10:24pm
To hear that you connected with a piece that I wrote means a lot. Hope you’re doing better now. Take care
