deepundergroundpoetry.com
Saying I'm Sorry to a Stranger
We were walking down to Tommy’s
The local burger joint, a couple of blocks from school
For fries and drinks
Most of us did that right before practice
But on this particular day
As four of us walked down the hill
An older man, afflicted with what looked like CP was approaching
I don’t remember the conversation we were having
But as the old man was near we got quiet
That’s when
Alex mocked him
Louis laughed out loud like it was the most hilarious thing
While Frank and I, laughed awkwardly looking at each other
Like saying “that’s fucked up”
That memory had all but faded until recently
When looking at my nephew reaching milestones in his journey
I feel a sense of joy for him and his parents
Knowing that he’s beaten the odds
Perhaps it’s the guilty conscience of a stupid young teenager
Remembering how insensitive or how thoughtless that was…but
My momma taught me better than that
Louis left to another school Sophomore year, never seen or heard from since
Alex, after graduation, has not been seen or heard from either
Frank, I heard he passed away a couple of years ago
And I, from time to time carry a guilty conscience for laughing
Now praying, saying I’m sorry to a stranger
Published 23rd Jul 2021
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The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jul 2021 00:46am
Excellent, wally. How many of us had the same experiences as a wayward youth.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
9th Aug 2021 8:08pm
Thank you BK.
Yes, we often do silly things as teens, but reflecting on that, I knew better than that. Peer pressure is a bitch, but I should have known better.
Yes, we often do silly things as teens, but reflecting on that, I knew better than that. Peer pressure is a bitch, but I should have known better.
23rd Jul 2021 1:16am
9th Aug 2021 8:08pm
23rd Jul 2021 1:40am
hello dearest Wally I think you did what you should in your heart
said an apology in prayer I have instances in my life that are brought to memory
and the only was I can rectify them is to pray...
I think that's why they come to our mind...
this is very endearing it shows your true heart...beautiful💕
said an apology in prayer I have instances in my life that are brought to memory
and the only was I can rectify them is to pray...
I think that's why they come to our mind...
this is very endearing it shows your true heart...beautiful💕
9th Aug 2021 8:10pm
Thank you so much for those kinds words.
Now that I'm older and understand the different types of disorders and disabilities, I think I sympathize and are more sensitive to other people's needs.
Now that I'm older and understand the different types of disorders and disabilities, I think I sympathize and are more sensitive to other people's needs.
23rd Jul 2021 1:57am
9th Aug 2021 8:11pm
Thank you very much Poet.
I try to be, for the sake of putting positives vibes out into the world.
I try to be, for the sake of putting positives vibes out into the world.
Anonymous
- Edited 24th Jul 2021 7:30am
23rd Jul 2021 6:04am
Extremely powerful and easy to relate to... as we all make horrible mistakes as kids .. It's that overwhelming sense of wanting to fit in, peer pressure, when you're young, that makes for bad decisions like this... Mistakes, a growing and not fully formed brain, tend to make.... sadly. I know our better angels (better selves) should be stronger when confronted with a crossroad of personality defining ... Yet, it's like drumming.... you aren't immediately good at it, you had to practice and practice .... I feel like it's the same with these types of cringe worthy situations..... just my thoughts...
My heart soars at your honesty and straightforwardness....This piece highlights that you are of strong character.... which is because you fought to be....
Such terrific ink my friend.
🌹 - B
My heart soars at your honesty and straightforwardness....This piece highlights that you are of strong character.... which is because you fought to be....
Such terrific ink my friend.
🌹 - B
9th Aug 2021 8:16pm
Thank you very much for your comments Blue.
I had another write several years ago, something similar, but it was in my college days, on a rainy afternoon coming home, a blind lady was waiting for the bus and I should've offered to share my umbrella or assist in anyway possible while she was getting soaked. That stuck with me for a while as well. The christian in me should have known better.
This particular instance comes up every once in a while and just got around to writing it.
I had another write several years ago, something similar, but it was in my college days, on a rainy afternoon coming home, a blind lady was waiting for the bus and I should've offered to share my umbrella or assist in anyway possible while she was getting soaked. That stuck with me for a while as well. The christian in me should have known better.
This particular instance comes up every once in a while and just got around to writing it.
23rd Jul 2021 6:32am
--Forgiveness...Isn't everything...It's the only thing!
Much to enjoy in the competent narrative craftmanship.
I love the nice narrative quality here--straightforward, economical, clear.
Honest Critique: As a narrative poem, it doesn't quite come off. What poetic move--and by poetic move, I mean a "multi-layered" move--would get the reader out of the poem, in a way that resolves the narrative, but in a way that does something more? I don't know...
Poems move by image, tone, gesture, metaphor, etc., because these things carry meaning in mysterious, resonant, multi-layered, sometimes electrifying, ways. That is, in ways that tap into, touch, activate, and engage our deep, intuitive organs, places of cognition that aren't normally exercised.
The ending, from a non-poem point-of-view, is great.
From a poetic point of view, not as much.
Much to enjoy in the competent narrative craftmanship.
I love the nice narrative quality here--straightforward, economical, clear.
Honest Critique: As a narrative poem, it doesn't quite come off. What poetic move--and by poetic move, I mean a "multi-layered" move--would get the reader out of the poem, in a way that resolves the narrative, but in a way that does something more? I don't know...
Poems move by image, tone, gesture, metaphor, etc., because these things carry meaning in mysterious, resonant, multi-layered, sometimes electrifying, ways. That is, in ways that tap into, touch, activate, and engage our deep, intuitive organs, places of cognition that aren't normally exercised.
The ending, from a non-poem point-of-view, is great.
From a poetic point of view, not as much.
9th Aug 2021 8:23pm
Thank you very much Mark for commenting.
I think most if not 98% poems go for the rhyme and four line stanza structure, with wordplay and humor. This is one of the few where I decided to step out of my comfort zone and spill it in a narrative.
For all I know, the man probably forgot about it by the time he got home, but somehow certain memories tend to come to the surface, like that guilty conscience knowing I was wrong.
I am still close to my marching band friends (or more so we share a camaraderie in the aspect that band was our second family), but what I felt that I had to point out at the end of this piece is that these particular friendships fizzled or just went by the way side.
I think most if not 98% poems go for the rhyme and four line stanza structure, with wordplay and humor. This is one of the few where I decided to step out of my comfort zone and spill it in a narrative.
For all I know, the man probably forgot about it by the time he got home, but somehow certain memories tend to come to the surface, like that guilty conscience knowing I was wrong.
I am still close to my marching band friends (or more so we share a camaraderie in the aspect that band was our second family), but what I felt that I had to point out at the end of this piece is that these particular friendships fizzled or just went by the way side.
28th Jul 2021 5:52am
One time I blew a straw wrapper off at Brighams and it went into the face of this quiet old guy just trying to have lunch, I just remembered that and how I felt so bad about it, I was only about 8 or so. I can laugh about it now, btw what's CP
9th Aug 2021 8:28pm
I think we all do something silly or by accident, without bad intent. Then our conscience talks to us.
My nephew (and his twin brother) were born at 24 weeks, and had a long battle. One didn't it make it, and it was about the time my nephew was 6 months or so he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. He's 8 years old now he's catching up in terms of development but he may not be able to walk (we're still hopeful).
I work at college and have often been amazed at how a couple of our students overcome their disability in order to continue with their education. Which is why I'm a big advocate for programs that assist youth who are at a disadvantage.
My nephew (and his twin brother) were born at 24 weeks, and had a long battle. One didn't it make it, and it was about the time my nephew was 6 months or so he was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. He's 8 years old now he's catching up in terms of development but he may not be able to walk (we're still hopeful).
I work at college and have often been amazed at how a couple of our students overcome their disability in order to continue with their education. Which is why I'm a big advocate for programs that assist youth who are at a disadvantage.
I heard this comment where a disabled lady said disabled people become more innovative because they are so challenged everyday. They hunger to learn because it becomes a quest for solutions. I'm not surprised they would try so hard to be educated, that's so great. If it weren't for disabled people, we would all try too hard to be perfect, they keep everyone humble and at ease with ourselves, and remind us to be kind, thats what I think too so thank god for them :)
