deepundergroundpoetry.com
enough
The door
is
closed -
slammed shut.
Open
it up -
Let the wind
breathe
you in.
Things
are not
always
forever -
Sometimes,
this
is
enough.
is
closed -
slammed shut.
Open
it up -
Let the wind
breathe
you in.
Things
are not
always
forever -
Sometimes,
this
is
enough.
Published 15th Jul 2021
Author's Note
If it always rains, then it always pours. Of course, of course. Of course.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 510
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
Anonymous
15th Jul 2021 8:41am
Lines 1-9 have a great rhythm, especially the last 3 lines:
LET the WIND
BREATHE
you IN
DUH duh DUH
DUH / duh DUH
This, after the iambs of the beginning.
Nice effect, nice rhythmic way to hook the reader.
LET the WIND
BREATHE
you IN
DUH duh DUH
DUH / duh DUH
This, after the iambs of the beginning.
Nice effect, nice rhythmic way to hook the reader.
15th Jul 2021 4:06pm
I appreciate you needing a hook or rhythm to stay hooked or feel like there's a rhythm, but what I really did was write words down without a rhythm or hook. Thanks for enjoying it though, even if you have to give yourself rules as to why.
17th Jul 2021 3:03am
Sometimes it is yourself that you must open up.......and let yourself breathe.
