Muddy Water

each moment before this one, considered;
thoughtless, wordless lonely minutes  
churning out silent days in reflection
and guarded anticipation
yet, I am no better off now
for having passed them under the guise
of relentless rebuilding;  
brand new, but no better off at all
still bringing savage accusations  
against my own character  
on your behalf, just in case  
you’ve not noticed my imperfections
and, lest I should be forgotten
in the familiar, painful ways
I have always been forgettable,
I remain compelled to remind you of me
I’ve acted too boldly, perhaps; as if  
the outcome can be held, even loosely
within these empty hands,  
simply because my heart is so full
cautiously awaiting the solid answers  
to questions I’ve stopped asking;
though the message reads clear enough,
my acceptance is muddy water  
Written by LunaGreyhawk
Author's Note
Written for the Poet and Didn’t Know It comp, using the last text I sent “though the message seems clear enough, my acceptance is muddy water.”
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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