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Far From Healing

Everyday this pain gets worse and I see myself sinking deeper.
Trying to keep it all together but I'm starting to see the reaper.
I try to close my eyes and pretend to float away
But the days are counting down so fast and it's getting harder to wanna stay.
I start to break up lines of these little blue pills
The ones that bring me down to earth and make me feel less ill.
I know I wanna stop but the feeling when I do
Reminds me that I'm all alone and I just can't make it through.
Another day, another line, another little box.
The one that has the M inside that makes the pain kick rocks.
It's the only time I feel alive, the only time I can breathe
Cause the crushing truth comes to the surface the fact I have to leave.
Leave my friends, leave my mom, leave the ones I love.
I beg and plead to make it stop, I'm not ready for what's up above.
Or maybe it will be down belown, in the depths of hell.
From these roads I've taken, choices I've made, or the secrets I can't tell.
All I know is I'm not ready for what life has given me
So for now I'll just break up another line and try my best to breathe.
Satansdirtylie
Written by Satansdirtylie (Babydoll101197)
Published
Author's Note
I'm in kidney failure and deal with constant chronic pain that only pain killers help and I'm just sick of living life knowing that at any moment it could be taken away from me.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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