Can't see

Held my breath
And hoped for Heaven
 
Please God,
Show mercy and give your blessing
 
Awoke with tubes
In my nose and arms
 
Heard them whisper
"Why would he ever
Wish himself harm?"
 
Spoke with special doctors
I've always called them shrinks
 
They were searching for a reason why
There had to be a hidden link
 
Diagnosis wasn't clear
Depression, bipolar  
And anything else I wanted to hear
 
Gave me pills so I wouldn't feel
Told me take these and I would heal
 
Live your life and feel nothing
It's a great mystery to me
 
Looking at the beauty all around
But I feel I just can't see