deepundergroundpoetry.com

Looking Back in Hindsight

The struggle hasn't stopped.
Though through each passing day.
I reflect on how i used to handle,
In all my unhealthy ways.
 
Where we as a group,
Survived the best we could.
Clinging as we needed.
But not reacting as we should.
 
A tribe contrived of failure.
Each of us missing adults.
So we banded together.
Raised our glasses to cope.
 
Children playing grown up games.
In crazy ways-
In crazy days-
 
Waiting for it all to change.
On full delay-
For full display-
 
If i could go back,
I'd wring my own neck.
To gasp my airways,
From the time i spent.
 
From lying to myself that i was a bother.
And rotting inside from time i squandered.
 
Looking back all it would really take,
Would be some maturity to spark change.
 
But instead i ignored myself.
And as result, behind on life.
It wasn't all negativity.
But the least, i could've tried.
 
And if i did I'm sure my life could be easier.
If i could go back and chat the lad convinced he's damned.
And let him know, that no control, is not fixed through it's embrace.
But that the change to be made laid in my hands.
 
If i had simply tried,
Instead of just waiting to die,
I imagine that my life,
Would hold more pleasure.
 
But with the past aside,
I now reflect upon my tribe,
Loving the memories of them and i,
But i just wish that we did better.
 
If i could just go back so i could say...
That I'm sorry to myself for how i behaved.
That i can't fault others for the choices i made.
And need to take responsibility into my own hands.
 
So now i don't mind the price i paid.
I'm happy that i worked to turn out this way.
Still finding out the path i paved,
From being a boy, forced into a man.
Written by DCLXVI_1989 (Garrett Asa Hughes)
Published
Author's Note
for the 'Parallel Selves' competition
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1 reading list entries 1
comments 2 reads 275
Commenting Preference: 
The author encourages honest critique.

Latest Forum Discussions
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:45pm by Ahavati
SPEAKEASY
Today 1:39pm by nightbirdblue
COMPETITIONS
Today 1:05pm by Grace
COMPETITIONS
Today 1:04pm by Grace