deepundergroundpoetry.com

Trust - Part I

 
Iím going through the motions
I feel like I remember this
From a lost memory somewhere... †
The last time I asked for help †
Asked for the first time †
And regretted that I ever had †
  
It makes it hard to put your †
Faith and trust in others †
Like big brothers †
Whose first memories he holds †
Crushing †
On a young soulís heart who †
Just wants to wrestle †
With her big bear brother †
Shoved their father †
Down the stairway †
To the concrete basement †
Tears clear in vivid memory †
I cried at the age of just 3 †
My world of trust in others †
Crucified †
In him †
†  
Pity for Dad? †
Not sure why †
Distant, even meek †
The family stranger †
With his upper-class nature †
Makes him unrelatable †
Kind of separate †
†  
And letís not forget †
Motherís worrying like a hen †
Sometimes rational †
Sometimes not so much †
Secreted ninja, lurking spy †
How many lies did she find and hide? †
Listening from the dark and †
From around the corners peering †
Unexpressed concern upon †
Inconspicuous horrors †
Her anxiety & worst fears †
Manifest through me †
Cluck cluck goes her little chicky †
To the looney farm, no harm? †
So fun? Not so... †
†  
So where am I to place my trust? †
In a big sister who's bent
On abusing narcotic drugs? †
Same path Iíve tasted †
And instead of haste Iíve †
Tread directly in her footsteps †
My headís just a little less fucked up †
Her own childhood molestations †
To deal with at the crossroads of †
Brothers and sisterís incest stations †
†  
Over-complications †
For such an age of †
Manifestations †
Of revelations... †
†  
What role models †
Will such a child choose? †
For what idols of insight †
Did she have to pursue? †
†  
Little Audrey †
nightbirdblue †
†  
And then... †
†  
There was You †
nightbirdblue
Written by nightbirdblue (enbyblue)
Published | Edited 8th Dec 2021
Author's Note
There's a lot to unpack here
It's just the origin stories
Circa 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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