I question God

God I'm really scared,
I'm scared one day I'll get terminal illness,
I've been living in pain all my life,
Emotional pain, physical sickness also scares me to death,
Please Lord, spare me from these pain,
I never given the chance to choose to be born to suffer,
Give me a chance to escape this,
I don't know the future,
I'm worried, I'm afraid,
Please promise me,
Protect me and love me,
I saw how it rips people apart from their dignity,
their hopes, their strength, their happiness, everything
For what purpose?
What's all that for?
Your retribution? vengeance? punishment? for man's disobedience?
Do we have a choice?
Born with sin from Adam and eve's tainted blood,
What choice do we have?
I don't get it,
Are we just a game?
Are you playing us?
To what ends?
The nakedness of mankind is ugly, evil, despicable beyond words,
Why wont you help them, us?
Why allow these evil people to harass,to destroy others?
I could ask why for a lifetime, i could lie to myself that there's a greater purpose,
But i know in the end it's just self comforting, you can't beat the truth.
Naked we come and naked we go,
Helplessness forces us to accept, forces us to lie to ourselves to feel better,
There's no way out unless you pick up your own sword, fight to end it,
When you and i are gone, it's just another one to him, a dead ant, dead ants,
It doesn't matter, more births yet to come.
Circle of life.