getting dressed in the dark (poverty)

Poverty wears me like an afterthought
like we got dressed in the dark  
and half my clothes are on  
inside out and backwards
 
I take the time to arrange each piece
into something that doesn't look threadbare  
and holier than a drunk Sunday fuck  
behind the church  
while the pastor preaches about sin  
 
I don't know if vanity is my saviour
but it gets me off my knees  
and forces a respectability  
you can't see between payday
and the reciepts that spell out debt
in slowly increasing numbers
 
I know that a new pair of jeans
isn't really worth living off rice and pinto beans
with the electricity bill deadline
pushed back another month
 
Poverty wears me like an afterthought
but it doesn't mean I have to wear it  
with pride or despair  
or the hopelessness it offers me  
with open arms
and the whispered promise
that this never gets better  
 
© Indie Adams 2021