deepundergroundpoetry.com
Whole
There are some days when all I want is the kiss of cold water sliding down my throat
Into the empty desert cavern that are my insides.
And I know that deep down I should not want these things anymore, that the girl who drank breakfast, lunch, and dinner was gone forever.
But I think that when I was busy trying to kill us both she held on by my ribcage.
Because there are nights when I think that I am happy, and food goes down so softly
And then she cries out from inside my body that we are no longer hungry,
That we do not deserve the food that is sliding its way down into the dry desert caves of our stomach.
I sometimes think that she has held on for this long because she is getting back at me for every cruel punishment I ever gave her,
Whether it be the days when eating was too hard so we settled for ice water and cotton balls,
Or the nights friends took us out to eat and every bite we took ended up in napkins hidden in our purses.
I think that she has held onto me for so long because deep down she is jealous of everything that I have,
She is jealous because I am the one who became whole while she is wasting away with half of a soul.
Into the empty desert cavern that are my insides.
And I know that deep down I should not want these things anymore, that the girl who drank breakfast, lunch, and dinner was gone forever.
But I think that when I was busy trying to kill us both she held on by my ribcage.
Because there are nights when I think that I am happy, and food goes down so softly
And then she cries out from inside my body that we are no longer hungry,
That we do not deserve the food that is sliding its way down into the dry desert caves of our stomach.
I sometimes think that she has held on for this long because she is getting back at me for every cruel punishment I ever gave her,
Whether it be the days when eating was too hard so we settled for ice water and cotton balls,
Or the nights friends took us out to eat and every bite we took ended up in napkins hidden in our purses.
I think that she has held onto me for so long because deep down she is jealous of everything that I have,
She is jealous because I am the one who became whole while she is wasting away with half of a soul.
Published 21st Jun 2021
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