deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unsaid
The mist of past is lifting
Someone wants me to see
There may be a new day breaking
Gold and crimson is set free
Did I say I past many oceans
Many mountains did I see
Though eyes remained forever closed
Gold and crimson did set free
With paper thin divisions
And passage wide and long
My walk was never lonely
To many planets I felt I belonged
Between the spoken words
And those I left unspoken
Your worth cannot be measured
A reason never forgotten
You filled my cracks without an ask
Oh so often and so deep
Gave a chance so I recover
Until a crack is all I seek...
Across the million valleys
With madness and resolve
I counted many stars each night
But now I hear this call..
The mist of past is lifting
You have to come and see
There is a new day breaking
Gold and crimson is set free
Someone wants me to see
There may be a new day breaking
Gold and crimson is set free
Did I say I past many oceans
Many mountains did I see
Though eyes remained forever closed
Gold and crimson did set free
With paper thin divisions
And passage wide and long
My walk was never lonely
To many planets I felt I belonged
Between the spoken words
And those I left unspoken
Your worth cannot be measured
A reason never forgotten
You filled my cracks without an ask
Oh so often and so deep
Gave a chance so I recover
Until a crack is all I seek...
Across the million valleys
With madness and resolve
I counted many stars each night
But now I hear this call..
The mist of past is lifting
You have to come and see
There is a new day breaking
Gold and crimson is set free
Published 15th Jun 2021
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reading list entries 3
comments 6
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15th Jun 2021 3:32pm
A beautiful and heartfelt poem. Thanks and look forward to more from your creativity. Hugs and peace, oral
Ah, your first poem posted 🥂
And, it's a most lovely piece to introduce us to your fetching poetic skills … with pen and ink, you've painted vivid, breathtaking scenes upon the canvas of our captivated imaginations.
Metaphor, emotion, imagery, smooth-flowing syntax, appealing word choices, spot-on and slant-rhymes, etc; have all combined to take us to a place of sheer wonderment and ethereal beauty.
I think the final verse is your poem's perfect conclusion, as it exemplifies and supports its entirety.
Now, you might consider changing the title from "Unsaid" to "Said" . : )
Nice avatar, too; in fact, it suits you poem to a tee.
What more could an enamored reader hope for than this prime example of sheer poetic wonderment.
Thank you ever-so gratefully for sharing your excellent skills! ⁓ Richard 🍃
[psst! check V2L1; past = passed]
And, it's a most lovely piece to introduce us to your fetching poetic skills … with pen and ink, you've painted vivid, breathtaking scenes upon the canvas of our captivated imaginations.
Metaphor, emotion, imagery, smooth-flowing syntax, appealing word choices, spot-on and slant-rhymes, etc; have all combined to take us to a place of sheer wonderment and ethereal beauty.
I think the final verse is your poem's perfect conclusion, as it exemplifies and supports its entirety.
Now, you might consider changing the title from "Unsaid" to "Said" . : )
Nice avatar, too; in fact, it suits you poem to a tee.
What more could an enamored reader hope for than this prime example of sheer poetic wonderment.
Thank you ever-so gratefully for sharing your excellent skills! ⁓ Richard 🍃
[psst! check V2L1; past = passed]
15th Jun 2021 10:57pm
Dear Richard, Thanks for your generous and sweet feedback. I feel lifted!
I find a lot of merit in the phrase - "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder". :)
I hope to stay connected with you and others on this platform and perhaps, enjoy the ripples of emotions caused by words.
Regards!
I find a lot of merit in the phrase - "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder". :)
I hope to stay connected with you and others on this platform and perhaps, enjoy the ripples of emotions caused by words.
Regards!
16th Jun 2021 5:37am
I was struck by your rhyming flow and the release of such strong emotions... making for a interesting read.... especially liked the ending on a positive note.... left the reader with warmth and possibility. ;)
Wonderful first poem entry, indeed!
Welcome to DUP,
I hope you enjoy your time here!
🌹- B
Wonderful first poem entry, indeed!
Welcome to DUP,
I hope you enjoy your time here!
🌹- B
25th Jun 2021 3:46pm
I enjoyed the refrained sentence, it definitely brought to life that gold and crimson that the rising sun brings. It reads majestic to me, welcome to DUP.
1st Jul 2021 7:36pm
