deepundergroundpoetry.com
and they call it rush hour
said we'd meet outside st paul's
about five, although you
know what it's like around
st paul's about five out of ten are your chances
I'm in chancery lane
she texts, as life slowly advances
Published 7th Jun 2021
Author's Note
a slightly altered repost
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
7th Jun 2021 00:37am
The rhyme of “chances” and “advances” was actually really elegant! Thanks for the fun read. x
7th Jun 2021 00:45am
7th Jun 2021 00:48am
By way of honest critique, I dislike the use of punctuation in poems like this because when such marks are otherwise not used it just feels like this stray useless comma that doesn’t need to be there, but that’s just taste, really.
7th Jun 2021 1:13am
I find a comma useful, as an unspoken and yet noticeable syllable, in a sense x
