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I want to know why? (ptsd related poem)
I want to know why?
written March 31st, 2021
I want to know why
you had to do
the things you did.
I know you hated yourself
and everything about your world
and I know
you loved me.
I know there were generations
of alcoholism and abuse.
Nobody told me,
but I know.
I want to know why
I have to live like this
the chaos and fracturing inside
on these bad days.
I want to know why
there isn't any answer
no balm or salve to sooth
this rampant infection in me.
I want to know why
it has to be this way.
written March 31st, 2021
I want to know why
you had to do
the things you did.
I know you hated yourself
and everything about your world
and I know
you loved me.
I know there were generations
of alcoholism and abuse.
Nobody told me,
but I know.
I want to know why
I have to live like this
the chaos and fracturing inside
on these bad days.
I want to know why
there isn't any answer
no balm or salve to sooth
this rampant infection in me.
I want to know why
it has to be this way.
Published 31st May 2021
Author's Note
I don't know what to do with some of these. I've avoided these topics for so long. That doesn't seem to have helped. Maybe writing about it will help. I don't want to hurt with my writing.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 6
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Anonymous
31st May 2021 2:55am
I believe it will be a catharsis.... just keep at it.... is my humble opinion.... this raw open honesty is EXACTLY what the page begs for from the pen......
Poignant it's distinct brevity.
Terrific purging ink, my friend
I hear you
🌹-B
Poignant it's distinct brevity.
Terrific purging ink, my friend
I hear you
🌹-B
31st May 2021 3:49am
This is exactly what I was wondering. Thank you for commenting. It means so much to me.
31st May 2021 3:01am
When pain is a source of inspiration
It can be like putting out a fire
The aftermath presents with it an opportunity to construct a new reality
Sometimes better than what was there before the destruction
It can be like putting out a fire
The aftermath presents with it an opportunity to construct a new reality
Sometimes better than what was there before the destruction
31st May 2021 3:50am
1st Jun 2021 8:41am
Sen
I greatly admire your courage. I agree, the raw honesty. also, we can reconfigure reality. We are capable of placing it at the forefront and facing it, realizing that it is malleable. In many ways reality becomes the memory of reality, and memories are subject to change, and thereby we may alter the present and the future, gaining strength, gaining the capability to further modify. And we may take control. I know it is a difficult process in many instances, but it is possible and I am inspired to see your endeavors in this respect.
I greatly admire your courage. I agree, the raw honesty. also, we can reconfigure reality. We are capable of placing it at the forefront and facing it, realizing that it is malleable. In many ways reality becomes the memory of reality, and memories are subject to change, and thereby we may alter the present and the future, gaining strength, gaining the capability to further modify. And we may take control. I know it is a difficult process in many instances, but it is possible and I am inspired to see your endeavors in this respect.
1st Jun 2021 8:28pm
Sometimes I write about how my world seems to be, sometimes I write about how I want it to be. I guess I need both. Yes I do have hope that I can build (write) what I want and need for my future. Thank you for your comments that always make me think.
