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THE IMAGE OF DEATH
THE IMAGE OF DEATH
There were some people who gave me
my love to live, and then they went.
The look at their faces was joy.
No wonder glee has disappeared.
I saw them in my early youth
in that old house, where l was young.
At that tme, l did not know death.
How could my life be but full mirth?
What are you, death, but a fierce foe?
You took my parents and that girl,
my younger sister, who was there.
With her my childhood was great cheer.
What can you be , death, but that face,
which you are fond to print on feasts.
We see it and joy is destroyed.
Young age erased it in that house.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
There were some people who gave me
my love to live, and then they went.
The look at their faces was joy.
No wonder glee has disappeared.
I saw them in my early youth
in that old house, where l was young.
At that tme, l did not know death.
How could my life be but full mirth?
What are you, death, but a fierce foe?
You took my parents and that girl,
my younger sister, who was there.
With her my childhood was great cheer.
What can you be , death, but that face,
which you are fond to print on feasts.
We see it and joy is destroyed.
Young age erased it in that house.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 6:12pm
And the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. ~ Ecclesiastes 12:7
Those who believe never see each other for the last time.
Those who believe never see each other for the last time.
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Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 9:38pm
Where does the author of Ecclesiastes say that one must be a believer to behold once again those who have died? And how is what you say what J-Z asked for -- i.e. honest criticism of the poetic art art that is or is not on display in this (poorly written and off rhythmed) ) piece of his?
BTW, does not the author of Ecclesiastes go on to say that the assertion in 12:7 is meaningless?
BTW, does not the author of Ecclesiastes go on to say that the assertion in 12:7 is meaningless?
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Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 7:05pm
Thank you very much, Ahavati. Your words give great calmness to my heart.
Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 9:40pm
Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 8:46pm
"There were some people who gave me
my love to live, and then they went."
Went where? Unless you specify this, what it was you intended to convey is unclear. Did they go to the beach, the mountains?
"The look at their faces was joy.
No wonder glee has disappeared."
Leaving side the truth of the implicit claim that you make here -- i.e., that your sole source of "glee" (one of your over-used words) in your life was the look that was on the faces of those who "went away", did you mean to write "TO look at their faces was joy" (or perhaps "the look ON their faces brought joy [to me]"?. Your current phrasing makes no sense.
And it is unclear whose "glee" disappeared.
my love to live, and then they went."
Went where? Unless you specify this, what it was you intended to convey is unclear. Did they go to the beach, the mountains?
"The look at their faces was joy.
No wonder glee has disappeared."
Leaving side the truth of the implicit claim that you make here -- i.e., that your sole source of "glee" (one of your over-used words) in your life was the look that was on the faces of those who "went away", did you mean to write "TO look at their faces was joy" (or perhaps "the look ON their faces brought joy [to me]"?. Your current phrasing makes no sense.
And it is unclear whose "glee" disappeared.
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Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
Please **show** me how and why how this is poetically inferior to your poorly rhythmed and linguistically obtuse above if you think it is.
Despite the fact
that death has swallowed up
and ta’en away
to dust
all those who raised me into love
of life
as well as others of my family
and friends,
I am not dispossessed, as some would claim,
of all ability to set
before my eyes their faces
and their smiles
or forever sore bereft of glee.
For I know that all I have to do
to behold these people once again
is look upon the photographs
I have of them
in which these things are captured well
for anyone to see.
.
And also I can conjure them
to come to me and my mind’s eye
whenever I
make efforts then to bid them rise
from where they’re stored
so vividly,
full fleshed, untarnished in my memory
And so I will admit there’s sadness at
their rough departure from this world,
I’m not entirely deprived
of the elating transports and the cheer
that seeing visages of people now
deceased
who, when I turned my gaze
to them
while they were yet alive,
would bring me joy
Despite the fact
that death has swallowed up
and ta’en away
to dust
all those who raised me into love
of life
as well as others of my family
and friends,
I am not dispossessed, as some would claim,
of all ability to set
before my eyes their faces
and their smiles
or forever sore bereft of glee.
For I know that all I have to do
to behold these people once again
is look upon the photographs
I have of them
in which these things are captured well
for anyone to see.
.
And also I can conjure them
to come to me and my mind’s eye
whenever I
make efforts then to bid them rise
from where they’re stored
so vividly,
full fleshed, untarnished in my memory
And so I will admit there’s sadness at
their rough departure from this world,
I’m not entirely deprived
of the elating transports and the cheer
that seeing visages of people now
deceased
who, when I turned my gaze
to them
while they were yet alive,
would bring me joy
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Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 10:32pm
Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 11:02pm
What do you mean by "heartfelt"? Does that mean writing that displays a mastery of "poetic art"? Would you please point out where and how this writing displays in its form, choice of words, sensory appeal, avoidance of grammar gaffes, vivid language, and consitent meter its "heartfeltness"?
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Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
30th May 2021 10:37pm
Very dear Lozzamus,
Your great encouragement gives me a lot. I'll never forget it. Thank you very much.
Your great encouragement gives me a lot. I'll never forget it. Thank you very much.
Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
Dear Baldwin, l believe that it is too stupid of the poet to defend his own poetry. Other people, thanked, take this task. No one will believe the oil seller when he says his oil is clear and not turbid or roily.
Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
31st May 2021 00:02am
I didn't ask you to defend your "poetry". I asked you to **show** me why and how (and not just assert) that my piece that I wrote in response to yours was inferior poetically (i.e., in terms of rhythm, rhyme, grammar, choice of words, imagery, etc.) to yours, if you thought mine was.
Once again, you show yourself unable to comprehend what I wrote and instead claim that I said what I didn't say.
Once again, you show yourself unable to comprehend what I wrote and instead claim that I said what I didn't say.
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Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
31st May 2021 2:40am
" No one will believe the oil seller when he says his oil is clear and not turbid or roily"
Of course they'd believe him if he could **show** (and not just declare) that his oil IS clear when someone says it's not.
Of course they'd believe him if he could **show** (and not just declare) that his oil IS clear when someone says it's not.
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Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
31st May 2021 00:17am
Very dear Baldwin,
We write poetry to understand ourselves better, become better men, and enjoy ourselves. Why don't we become friends and help each other. Sorry if l have caused you any annoyance. Let's forget the past and become good friends, please. I like your experience. It has given me great benefits. Let's become friends and enjoy our writings.
We write poetry to understand ourselves better, become better men, and enjoy ourselves. Why don't we become friends and help each other. Sorry if l have caused you any annoyance. Let's forget the past and become good friends, please. I like your experience. It has given me great benefits. Let's become friends and enjoy our writings.
Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
A (typical) non answer to, and an evasion of, my request. It shows that you are incapable of, and lack the tools for, showing me how and why my piece is poetically inferior to yours, otherwise you would have done so.
Why would I want to be friends with you when you shows yourself to be steadfastly unwilling to do what friends do when you are requested to do something for the person you say you want to be friends with?
If you want to be friends with me, then speak directly and not dismissively to the all the questions I ask you, stop mischaracterizing what I say or ask, and take the time to actually demonstrate with reasoned arguments and relevant evidence how and why my criticisms of your pieces, however trivial you might view them to be, are off the mark if you think they are. Either that or admit that you cannot do so.
P.S. Even assuming that your claim about why "we" write poetry is true, it's irrelevant. The real issue is whether what we write is sufficiently well written and artful to be worth the time that a reader spends reading it.
Why would I want to be friends with you when you shows yourself to be steadfastly unwilling to do what friends do when you are requested to do something for the person you say you want to be friends with?
If you want to be friends with me, then speak directly and not dismissively to the all the questions I ask you, stop mischaracterizing what I say or ask, and take the time to actually demonstrate with reasoned arguments and relevant evidence how and why my criticisms of your pieces, however trivial you might view them to be, are off the mark if you think they are. Either that or admit that you cannot do so.
P.S. Even assuming that your claim about why "we" write poetry is true, it's irrelevant. The real issue is whether what we write is sufficiently well written and artful to be worth the time that a reader spends reading it.
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Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
31st May 2021 10:50am
Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
31st May 2021 4:56pm
Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
31st May 2021 11:25am
Very dear Breedlove,
Thank you very much for your kind comment, but from time to time, l do all what l can to make it friendly.
Thank you very much for your kind comment, but from time to time, l do all what l can to make it friendly.
Re: Re. THE IMAGE OF DEATH
But more frequently than not, you attack the character of the person who critiques what you write instead of demonstrating that the linguistic, conceptual, factual, and grammatical problems that he/she finds in your submissions are off the mark.
The issue isn't whether you are or are not friendly in your (all too often ad hominimed and red herringed) responses to your submissions. It's how you pose yourself as one who thinks he is incapable of writing poorly and that any criticism of your work is tantamount to sacrilege.
The issue isn't whether you are or are not friendly in your (all too often ad hominimed and red herringed) responses to your submissions. It's how you pose yourself as one who thinks he is incapable of writing poorly and that any criticism of your work is tantamount to sacrilege.
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