hesitation/procrastination

   
     
     
    hesitation and procrastination; the foundation of one's loneliness;    
     
    thinking about everything that could go wrong, in the front of my mind....keeps one from extensive conversations....or from one being initiated....  
     
  not trusting one's self to stay in pocket yet be honest; because the world at large has its deceptive nature....    
     
which keeps me evasive....I wish it wasn't that way....what you and I may want may most likely not align....I beat myself up on the off chance that I'm wrong and may not be right half the time ....    
     
life is short.... and everyone more or less has trust issues.... there's a thin line between introversion and anti....    
     
I can't stand my own mind; I want to go against it sometimes, and be like,"c'mon get outside of your mind...."a true tug of war inside....    
     
holding one's self from saying more than just hi; life is just frustrating that way....part of why I decide to drink and sometimes get high....