I'll Be a Stubborn Bitch till I Die

A feeling like a weighted blanket on my soul
With my mind full of fog too thick to break
Breathing takes conscious effort
As if my chest had to remind itself to give me life
One more constricted breath
Measly bits of necessity
That I grab stubbornly even though weak
I have to break free
I have to break free
I have to break free
I have to be me
I have to come back to me
I have to nurture me
I have to love on me
I have to see my daughter's smile again
I have to see my baby win
I have to
I have to
I have to
Hafta
Hafta
Hafta
.
.
.
Droning on inside my head
As if half delirious voices could brainwash themselves
Into escaping a different kind of hell
That lied to me until I believed it
But the death sentence
Rings in my ears
Like a church bell ringing
Through the heavy silence of a ghost town