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Ocean of a world (Inspired by "The fat Joke" by Rachel Wiley ~ Button poetry finalist)
I know that when people see me, they see the body that I inhabit first.
They see my body and shake their heads in disgust, because how could I let it get this bad.
Fat girl walks through the world, and yet they do not see all she has been through,
They do not see countless nights spent in the gym, daggers being shot at her back.
They do not see the meal replacements and the counted calorie intakes,
They do not see nights on an empty stomach, or the constant water fasts.
Fat girls walks through a world designed to tear her down, to shame her,
And even then, she loves her fat body, because she owes the world nothing.
I do not owe you thinness, nor do I owe you perceived thinness.
I am allowed to exist just as I am, and I am allowed to love myself.
Fat girl walks through an ocean of a world, everyone telling her to become smaller.
But they do not see the intrusive thoughts, or the cups of ice that she eats as dinner.
And when fat girl is diagnosed with an eating disorder, they assume she eats too much.
When fat girl is choking on nothing but stomach acid, her stomach howling for food,
The world still shoots knives into her skin, screaming at her to become thinner.
Fat girls gets told that she isn't fat, that she is indeed beautiful.
And fat girl cries, because she can exist in a fat body and be beautiful together.
I know that when people see me, they see the body that I inhabit first,
And I wish that they would see all we have been through together,
The day that I was diagnosed, the days spent on the shower floor afterwards.
I wish that they saw the protein shake filled coffees, and the saltines for dinner.
I wish that the world saw what they were shaping me into, with nothing but clay and barbed wire.
Fat girl decides to walk through the world one last time, to give love one last try.
And after it all, she realizes that she owes the world nothing, not even thinness.
Fat girl finally gets it, she is finally ready for the last step ; the loving of herself.
They see my body and shake their heads in disgust, because how could I let it get this bad.
Fat girl walks through the world, and yet they do not see all she has been through,
They do not see countless nights spent in the gym, daggers being shot at her back.
They do not see the meal replacements and the counted calorie intakes,
They do not see nights on an empty stomach, or the constant water fasts.
Fat girls walks through a world designed to tear her down, to shame her,
And even then, she loves her fat body, because she owes the world nothing.
I do not owe you thinness, nor do I owe you perceived thinness.
I am allowed to exist just as I am, and I am allowed to love myself.
Fat girl walks through an ocean of a world, everyone telling her to become smaller.
But they do not see the intrusive thoughts, or the cups of ice that she eats as dinner.
And when fat girl is diagnosed with an eating disorder, they assume she eats too much.
When fat girl is choking on nothing but stomach acid, her stomach howling for food,
The world still shoots knives into her skin, screaming at her to become thinner.
Fat girls gets told that she isn't fat, that she is indeed beautiful.
And fat girl cries, because she can exist in a fat body and be beautiful together.
I know that when people see me, they see the body that I inhabit first,
And I wish that they would see all we have been through together,
The day that I was diagnosed, the days spent on the shower floor afterwards.
I wish that they saw the protein shake filled coffees, and the saltines for dinner.
I wish that the world saw what they were shaping me into, with nothing but clay and barbed wire.
Fat girl decides to walk through the world one last time, to give love one last try.
And after it all, she realizes that she owes the world nothing, not even thinness.
Fat girl finally gets it, she is finally ready for the last step ; the loving of herself.
Published 7th May 2021
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phwoar!
i wish you heard me shouting and cheering as i was reading through this 🥳 👏🏻
i'm going to need a glass of milk for the amount of spicy burns going on throughout this write and every line had such empowering fire to it and the ending was absolutely wonderful 🔥
cheering from across the pond here lovely 🎉
thank you for a touching & empowering read this evening, best poem i've read tonight 😊
-ethan
i wish you heard me shouting and cheering as i was reading through this 🥳 👏🏻
i'm going to need a glass of milk for the amount of spicy burns going on throughout this write and every line had such empowering fire to it and the ending was absolutely wonderful 🔥
cheering from across the pond here lovely 🎉
thank you for a touching & empowering read this evening, best poem i've read tonight 😊
-ethan
7th May 2021 11:42pm
You spoil me with your comments, Ethan.
This poem of mine has been in my drafts for months, today was the day I finally had the guts to post it. Thank you for your constant support ♡
- Much love,
Angel.
This poem of mine has been in my drafts for months, today was the day I finally had the guts to post it. Thank you for your constant support ♡
- Much love,
Angel.
7th May 2021 11:47pm
well i'm grateful you shared it today because i think the world needs to hear it and i’m glad you finally shared it 😊
-ethan
-ethan
9th May 2021 00:36am
I hate that this is a feeling people have to feeling. It's ridiculous. You write it out and don't let it get you. I have crossed to the other recently, new to this place of awesomeness... I still regress a little but I can weather it a little better I think.
I will be here waiting for you sweetheart, and continue to send hugs and kisses.
I will be here waiting for you sweetheart, and continue to send hugs and kisses.
