deepundergroundpoetry.com
Thankful
It is funny how my grief works, because i can feel so alive and so whole,
And then something will remind me of you, and you consume everything that was.
And then the pain begins to spread, the reminder of the loss I have felt weighs on my lungs like an anchor caked in sand at the bottom of the sea.
I was at dinner today, and someone brought out your favorite chips and salsa,
It reminded me of a happier time than this, when you were alive and I felt that way too.
It hurts way deep down in my stomach when I think of you because of how much I miss you,
And sometimes it hurts to breathe because I am afraid that I am forgetting you.
It is funny how time has no concept when it comes to the loss of you,
Because I wish that that bitch would give me a rest, a moment to mend my pieces.
I wish so badly that you could tell me everything would be alright, because I am not.
I wish so badly that I could've held your hand and told you it was okay to let go,
And I am so thankful for the time that I got to spend with you, even on bad days.
I am thankful for every shrimp encased fridge fight that we ever had,
I am thankful for the rainy days spent inside caked in cigarette smoke and coffee,
I am thankful for the days we spent fighting because you were too damn cranky,
And I am thankful for the louder days where you danced to your heart's content.
And I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world, because It was time with you.
It is funny how my grief is working, because sometimes I am living life to the fullest,
And then on the bad days, when the grief is holding me by my throat,
It feels as if I am barely living at all.
And then something will remind me of you, and you consume everything that was.
And then the pain begins to spread, the reminder of the loss I have felt weighs on my lungs like an anchor caked in sand at the bottom of the sea.
I was at dinner today, and someone brought out your favorite chips and salsa,
It reminded me of a happier time than this, when you were alive and I felt that way too.
It hurts way deep down in my stomach when I think of you because of how much I miss you,
And sometimes it hurts to breathe because I am afraid that I am forgetting you.
It is funny how time has no concept when it comes to the loss of you,
Because I wish that that bitch would give me a rest, a moment to mend my pieces.
I wish so badly that you could tell me everything would be alright, because I am not.
I wish so badly that I could've held your hand and told you it was okay to let go,
And I am so thankful for the time that I got to spend with you, even on bad days.
I am thankful for every shrimp encased fridge fight that we ever had,
I am thankful for the rainy days spent inside caked in cigarette smoke and coffee,
I am thankful for the days we spent fighting because you were too damn cranky,
And I am thankful for the louder days where you danced to your heart's content.
And I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world, because It was time with you.
It is funny how my grief is working, because sometimes I am living life to the fullest,
And then on the bad days, when the grief is holding me by my throat,
It feels as if I am barely living at all.
Published 3rd May 2021
Author's Note
To my truest best friend.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 1
reads 259
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th May 2021 5:02am
"caked in sand at the bottom of the sea."
I can close my eyes and see this in the depth of the ocean that I have drowned a 1000 times over. That's tough.
I can close my eyes and see this in the depth of the ocean that I have drowned a 1000 times over. That's tough.
