Words given at sunrise

 
“Meticulous mayhem”--
What a paradoxical phrase to wake up with!
And yet, there it was this morning,
begging to be put to use;
but I had no idea how.

This evening, an assignment I’ve chosen;
learning history, politics, spirituality,
violence inflicted by country and church
on indigenous brothers and sisters;
stories gut-wrenching and hard,
but white woman’s tears serve no purpose here;
my job is to listen and learn.

This work requires intentionality,
discipline for difficult conversations,
a conscientious, principled approach
…one could even say it’s meticulous…
causing such chaos within,
dismantling, destroying faulty brain pathways
to become a force of reconciliation
…one could even call it mayhem…

Somehow my morning self knew,
this continued work of
decolonizing my heart
would be nothing less than
“meticulous mayhem”